9 Reasons Why You Should Never Ever Trust the Bookworm Creature #trustissues #again

Bookworms are untrustworthy creatures.

We do a lot of scary and mean things. This is why you should never be friends with us and leave us to our books because we will betray you.

But seriously. There are LOTS of reasons why you shouldn’t trust bookworms, and today, because I am lovely and helpful and helping you stay away from my kind, I am highlighting all those reasons!

Aka stay away from me.

Aka let me read my books.

Aka go away.

flowers

1. we will yell at you and/or throw things at you

We are bookworms. You see us all the time reading a book and (generally) being quiet while reading said book. So you don’t expect us to yell/throw things at you, do you???

NO. YOU DON’T.

This behavior can be caused by a multitude of things. Let it be known that BOOKWORMS ARE VERY ANGRY CREATURES, for various reasons.

arrow 1

why we’ll yell/throw things at you:

  • YOU INTERRUPTED OUR READING
  • you talked to us while we were reading
  • you PUT YOUR HAND ON OUR PAGE so we’d pay attention to you (spoiler: it doesn’t work)
  • you dissed our favorite book (we’ll yell at you in a debate, of course, not because your opinion is invalid)
  • you judge a book by its movie
  • you laugh at our pain
  • you don’t notice our pain
  • you ignore our pain
  • you say you don’t like books and start a national disruption and cause an international war

arrow 2

flowers

2. we combust/cry/scream at random

You expect us to be quiet, just reading our books and being immersed, when suddenly…

Image result for screaming gif

WE SCREAM. WE CRY. WE EXPLODE. BECAUSE WHAT THE HECK JUST HAPPENED???

There are many reasons that we’re like this, but it’s most likely because of some event in a book that we just read and OMG WE HAVE TO LET IT OUTTTTTTTT.

Warning: Stay away from bookworms at all times or risk being drowned in a river of tears and/or having broken ears and/or exploding as well.

Oh! We can also suddenly burst out into manic laughter and be unable to stop because the author is just so hilarious and we can’t keep it in anymore. #LetItGoooooooo

flowers

3. we will fight you on our fandoms

Everything’s going SWELL until you decide to diss one of our FAVORITE FANDOMS EVER.

And then we’re screaming and fighting and opinion-ing because HOW COULD YOU NOT LIKE THIS CHARACTER AND THIS BOOK AND THIS AUTHOR???

While we DO respect your opinion and think it’s completely valid (usually…), we will protect our lovelies at all costs. So then there will be more screaming and hitting you with various things.

flowers

4. we will accidentally (?) spoil you

SPOILING MEANING WE WILL REVEAL FACTS ABOUT THE BOOK THAT YOU DON’T KNOW YET. Not like, buying everything (like mangoes) for you because why would we spoil YOU when we can spoil OURSELVES.

But seriously. Bookworms spoil things ALL. THE. TIME. Whether it be accidental or not doesn’t matter. We’re evil.

arrow 1

how bookworms can spoil you:

  • we’ll be ranting about our favorite book and then OOPS we mention that someone died
  • or we’ll be ranting about our least favorite book
  • we’ll cry a character’s name in such a way that you know they died
  • or we’re whispering to our bookworm friends about a certain books but apparently whispering isn’t enough and you HEAR THE WHOLE CONVERSATION
  • you’re browsing Goodreads only to see that someone messed up the spoiler tag!!!*
  • or you have no self-control and click on all the spoilers on Goodreads

Image result for no self control gif

  • or you read after *SPOILER ALERT* in posts/comments
  • or you just click on a post marked *SPOILERS FOR [book name]* despite the fact that you haven’t read the book like what are you doing???
  • OKAY SO MAYBE THIS IS TURNING INTO A “HOW YOU SPOIL YOURSELF” LIST

arrow 2

Bookworms also spoil other bookworms and it’s a sad life we live.

*…This never happened to me what are you talking about.

flowers

5. we will avoid social events for bookish things

So if you invite us to your birthday party or wedding or funeral, we might “have plans”.

Those plans are reading books obviously.

JUST KIDDINGGGGG.

We probably will be nice and attend that wedding or funeral. (But no promises on the birthday party.)

HOWEVER. If there’s the fact of meeting authors or getting books signed, we DEFINITELY will ditch those birthday parties/weddings/funerals. HELLO. MEETING AUTHORS HERE. NOT MISSING THAT.

flowers

6. we will bring books everywhere

If we go to said social event, we will most likely bring books.

And read. And ignore everyone.

HEY IT WAS THEIR FAULT THEY INVITED US.

So basically, don’t invite us at all. Because 1) we will reject it for other (more important) things, and 2) if we ACTUALLY ACCEPT your invitation… we’ll bring the books. And we will disappear.

Image result for disappear gif

To be completely fair tho, WE ARE BOOKWORMS. WE LIKE BOOKS. WE NEED BOOKS.

Therefore we will proceed to bring them with us everywhere we go because we cannot part with them. They’re oxygen to us. They’re pizza to Americans. THEY’RE MANGOES TO MANGO QUEENS.*

*Aka JUST mango queen because there can only be one.

flowers

7. we will steal your money and use it to buy books

And maybe pay you back??? MAYBE???

But probably not because we’re broke and you’re doing us a great favor by having your money available to us to steal so we can buy books!

Like WHY ELSE why would you leave that stack of dollar bills on the table IF NOT TO STEAL IT USE IT??? You have to be more careful around us. You know how we’re like. And yet there you go leaving money lying around.

WHAT DO YOU EXPECT FROM US.

NOT TO STEAL USE THE MONEY FOR GOOD CAUSES???

Hahahaha ridiculous.

flowers

8. we recommend you books just to damage you

Despite being damaged by certain books, WE STILL LOVE THEM. And we will do anything to pass it on to others, which includes lying and say that it is the HAPPIEST book ever.

For example, I am telling you to read ALL of these books:

And you know why I want you to read these books? TO BE DAMAGED. Because they are extremely happy books you will love and enjoy and will NEVER EVER cry over!!!

Image result for sobbing gif

flowers

9. we buy books for the cover and not because it actually interests us

…Sorry??? You thought we WOULDN’T notice the pretty cover??? Or buy it because of it???

Tbh I don’t have enough money to afford cover buying (I barely buy any books as it is), but IF I DID, I probably would. The reason being: I NEED THAT PRETTY COVER ON MY SHELF NOW!!!

And so, you, the innocent child thinking that we bought it because it interested us and thought it looked good, therefore think that the book will be good and ALSO possibly buy it and/or check it out from the library because you’re broke…

…only to realize that it is TRASH and horrible and you DO. NOT. LIKE. IT.

Which thus makes you question WHY THE HECK we bought that book.

And you realize we bought it for the cover.

The end.


shall we chat

why else can’t we trust bookworms? are YOU a bookworm? and more importantly, are you a TRUSTFUL bookworm? (highly unlikely) and most importantly, what book would YOU bring to read at a funeral???

sign off 2.0

Advertisements

112 thoughts on “9 Reasons Why You Should Never Ever Trust the Bookworm Creature #trustissues #again

  1. Well…IF THIS ISN’T HIGHLY TRUE, I might not be commenting

    Ahem I’m commenting

    BECAUSE THIS SO TRUE.

    Ahem, this month I went to a wedding and I was reading AGOS the whole time. OOPPPPSSS.

    Tbh, I buy some books for their pretty cover BECAUSE I CANNOT RESIST but it’s usually because ahem it’s hyped…AND IT’s GOT A PRETTY COVER. Win Win.

    AGH YOU ARE HILARIOUS.I actually try and read Endings of books alone because I don’t want to freak out friends and all. But sometimes, It’s not even the ENDING that’s so there go all my plans.

    I swear when I’m writing or reading and someone is even talking, I FLIP. To my dark side *MWHAHAHAHAHA* AHEM I mean basically I move house and sell my soul to the book. OBVIOUSLY #logic

    I WILL OBVIOUSLY RECOMMEND DAMAGING BOOKS. How else do you think I survive? SOULS OF COURSE.

    And to bring to a funeral…Just to add to the tears A Monster Calls OR The Young Elites (which ending I found sadder than The Midnight Star. ENZO…OOPS THERE GOES SPOILING BOOKS) I actually got spoiled for Illuminae by reading Cait’s review ON MY KINDLE. Which marks spoilers but dosen’t actually work. SO THEY ARE IN PLAIN SIGHT.

    Liked by 1 person

    • OMG YOU ACTUALLY READ AGOS AT A WEDDING??? I’M DYING

      Oh yeah, if it’s hyped and has a pretty cover… *eye twitching* But seriously I am broke.

      Well usually I finish books at home at night in my bed so then I can sob myself to sleep??? But sometimes I can’t help but finishing it. OH YEAH random events make me sob too.

      OMG YESSSS. Like I’m DOING SOMETHING don’t interrupt me??? Would you interrupt me during a conversation? No.

      THE MIDNIGHT STAR WAS SADDER. (And omg see it just slips out of us.) And omg WHYYYYY DON’T TRUST YOUR KINDLE EVER AGAIN.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Hehehee totally just sitting here chuckling creepily to myself because SO TRUE. I also like to throw books at people to get them to read it. It totally works. Totally.
    AND OMG. Not spoiling YOURSELF may just be the hardest thing of EVER. Ugh. Why must we practice self-restraint when we have none whatsoever?? WHERE DID MINE GO BARTHOLEMEW.
    I love this post May!!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I AM a bookworm. And YES I AM TOTALLY TRUSTFUL AS A BOOKWORM even though I will lie to you and feed you fake spoilers as you are reading my book.

    <delonce i fake spoiled my friend when she was reading divergent and told her that a bunch of characters when they DIDN’T. *evil laughter*

    At a funeral I would totally bring a super funny book so I could laugh while everyone else cries over the casket.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh so many of these are me. 🙂 I mean not the crying and throwing things, although I do get very annoyed when someone interrupts my reading time to ask me a question, and definitely not the spoiler things because I know my friends will murder me if I spoil a book for them, seriously I think they would kill be, but definitely everything else.
    I’ll admit I’m tempted more often than not to cancel social plans for books, especially if it’s one I don’t want to put down, and pretty much all the books I recommend will cause emotional damage to people. I tell them that but it’s like; ‘this book will break your heart and turn you into a sobbing mess. READ IT!’ 😀
    Great post May. 🙂 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Haha, I don’t LITERALLY cry and throw things but sometimes I feel like it. 😉 And agh, you must be very good if you don’t spoil books on accident! Spoilers just burst from my mouth without me knowing. 😂

      HAHAHA YES! Sometimes I say that it’s heartbreaking and will make you cry and that they should definitely read it… we bookworms are weird! 😛

      Liked by 1 person

      • In that case I definitely get the wanting to cry and throw things around feelings. 🙂 I’ve been very well trained by my friends that now I barely share the plot, just a very basic overview so I don’t even risk spoiling anything! 😀
        Ha, we are, but we all know how weird we are.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Haha whenever I’m telling my Mom about a book I always have to spoil it for her and she always has to tell me to stop! I just can’t help it, you know? XD I’m not that BIG of a bookworm, but I like reading and you probably already noticed but I can relate to number 4. 😛

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Hahahaha oh, May, I can relate to this SO MUCH. I’m so mad at people at times when they interrupt my reading or something, I just hate when that happens, especially when I’m too into the book and everything. Also, YES to screaming about books and crying and everything else, books make us a MESS, right? But we love it.
    Also, there are books I will never ever ever STOP recommending to everyone. I was happy to see The Serpent King on your list, what a book, right?? Also, I need to read the rest of The Young Elites series 🙂
    Great post! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. YES I’M A BOOKWORM! *Warning: Do not trust this creature, I repeat, do not trust*

    OMIGOD MAY! Seriously you just hit the nail on the head, like, spot on! This is SO AMAZINGLY ACCURATE & I can’t seem to wipe this huge grin off my face because it’s evident that ALL bookworms are like this (yes I kind of thought that I’m the only one, but YAY I’m not)! 😍😍😍

    Non-Bookworms just don’t get us at all! There should be something like “A Guide For Dealing With Bookworms”! I’d be so engrossed in some book & then someone would keep calling my name over & over & I’m just like “Shhh – I’m busy reading” and then they’d look at me as if I’m some sort of exotic crazy creature! Or that time I was in the middle of reading an ebook and my parents took my phone & laptop from me – trust me, you don’t want to EVER experience that feeling when you want to know what happens next & (sadly) can’t! I was losing my mind & I kept begging my parents, I was like “Please I want to read the rest…this is important” and I was greeted with the same “Is she crazy?” look! Sometimes I’d also put my book right beside my plate while I’m eating – everyone would be like “It can wait” and I’m like “No – don’t you dare say that!” So yeah….#bookworm #experiences 📖
    Another thing is that I can’t be trusted to write a book review w/o spoiling it! I just can’t! One time a friend was asking me about a book she still hasn’t read – at first I was very careful not to spoil it but then I began to ramble on & on excitedly & I blurted everything out like an idiot! *facepalm* 😂🤦‍♀️

    YESS! I go everywhere with a book – it’s a must! I can miss social events or even my chores if I’m busy reading! It was such a huge problem during school when I was supposed to be studying but was reading my book under the textbook! (Yes I got caught a couple of times, unfortunately)! It was this pathetic battle of the reading versus my grades (which is why I stopped reading for almost 4 months before my final IGCSE exams). It almost killed me, but my future is important too, right? 😏

    And YES! I try not to be tempted by book covers but sometimes I can’t help it! It’s like “I NEED this pretty cool cover on my shelf – I have to have it!” even though I’m very aware of the famous “Don’t Judge a Book By Its Cover” syndrome! #fails 🤦‍♀️

    Anyway, I absolutely loved loved loved LOVED this post & I think this is the LONGEST comment I have EVER written, which just shows how bookworm-y I am & how awesome this post is! 👏👏 All praise to the Mango Queen for writing this HUGELY relatable post! ❤️❤️❤️

    (Hope this wasn’t too long & boring to read) 😉👀

    Liked by 3 people

    • Oh my god this is so long! I’m honored that you’d write a comment so large for my post. ❤

      Oh yes, we definitely don't want to be interrupted in our reading! It's like WHY ARE YOU BEING SO RUDE??? And agh the ebook thing sounds so HORRIBLE!

      Haha, when I write book reviews, I sometimes want to talk about spoilers but I'll resist it. And EXACTLY! When you're talking about the book, the spoilers just slip out!

      And oh yes, reading comes after school and chores and all that… but it's hard to remember that. 😂 We just wanna read read read!

      The book cover thing is SOOOOO relatable. We're visual humans and covers that appeal to us make us want to buy books. 😍

      I'm so glad you loved this post! 😊❤

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Also if you attempt a conversation with a bookworm, something will quickly remind them of the book they are currently reading or have just finished or the book they finished 50 years ago but are still recovering from, and they will proceed to regale you with the entire plot, the deeper motivations of the characters, their opinions on everything, and why this book should be ruling the world. Not that I’VE ever done this. *nervous laughter*
    I have some bookworm friends who are great at spoilers. I was reading a mystery and my friend asked, “Did you get to the part where they find out that (insert name here) was the one who did it?”
    I just turned very slowly to face her and said. “Why, no, I didn’t know that. But thank you for the information.”
    As for what book to bring to a funeral, I would probably bring a really tragic book so that I could look appropriately sad and so deceive everyone into thinking I was a decent human. But some character would undoubtedly make some unexpected hilarious remark and I would burst into maniacal laughter and whoever had died would climb out of their coffin to strangle me for disrespecting them so.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Omg YESSSS. People accidentally remind me of a book, or they make an unintentional reference and off I go on a rant!

      And haha YES. I always do that. When my friend is reading a book I’ve read, I feel like I want to ask them “did you get to the part where [blah blah blah]?” But then I just ask what page number they’re on, to be safe. XD

      AH YES SMART. I mean if it was a funeral I’d probably cry, and if it was a sad book, I wouldn’t cry. (I barely cry when reading books.) But yES I burst out into laughter when reading SO MUCH.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. I would just like to point out that maybe it’s just me, but I felt like you were extra witty in this post because you made me genuinely laugh out loud (which you do usually do, but there was a special amount in this post)

    Am I a book worm??? Lol no you have to read to be a bookworm…

    What book to bring to a funeral? I’m not some sort of heartless animal who would bring a book to an event such as a funeral…
    Just kidding, I would bring green eggs and Ham, by Dr. Suess obviously (duh)

    Also, I would like to bring up the fact that I thought that the title said trust tissues and I was like wth does that even mean May????

    Liked by 1 person

  10. why else can’t we trust bookworms? are YOU a bookworm? and more importantly, are you a TRUSTFUL bookworm? (highly unlikely) and most importantly, what book would YOU bring to read at a funeral???

    AHAHA I’VE NEVER SPOILED A BOOK FOR ANYONE. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT. NOPE. COMPLETELY SPOILER FREE. lol all my friends hate me
    I am a very untrustworthy bookworm: I literally do all of the things you mentioned above. It’s surprising I even *have* friends xD
    I’d probably bring Ari and Dante to a funeral because it’s sad but happy and makes me cry so I wouldn’t look out of place.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Ha ha! I loved reading this! I am a very BIG bookworm. I read all the time. In class, I try and finish work early so I can read. #CrazyBookwormRampage.

    Btw, I actually do the manic laughing.

    Once I did it in a library.

    Very. Very. VERY. LOUDLY.

    Oops.

    But I usually don’t notice when people are talking whilst I’m reading because I’m so engaged in my book. Sometimes, though, I do and it is so ANNOYING!!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Aaaghhh this is SO ACCURATE!!!!! Especially the part about buying books for their pretty covers and never actually liking them? *rushes to send post to non-bookworm friends who just DON’T GET IT*

    Liked by 1 person

  13. I was about to ask ‘MAY WHY WOULD YOU EXPOSE US LIKE THIS’ when I read the title of this post, but then you wrote ‘let me read my books’ and I realised,, what an excellent idea this post is. This way we’ll all be left alone to read. Besides, who needs non-bookworm friends? THEY DON’T UNDERSTAND

    WHAT MONSTER WOULD PUT THEIR HAND ON A PAGE WHILE YOU’RE READING OMG MAY DID THIS ACTUALLY HAPPEN TO YOU WHO DO WE NEED TO THROW OUR THICK BOOKS* AT

    * only tough books who can’t be damaged by someone’s head will be thrown no books will be harmed #protectbooks2k17

    Liked by 1 person

    • EXACTLY, MICHELLE. DON’T GO THREATENING ME THAT I EXPOSED YOU. I’ve done a favor. Now you’ll be left in peace and no one shall bother you. AHAHA I’m genius.

      YES IT’S HAPPENED TO ME I WAS READING A BOOK AND TRYING TO IGNORE THE ANNOYING PERSON TRYING TO TALK TO ME AND THEN HE PUT HIS HAND ON THE PAGE AND I FELT TEMPTED TO SQUISH IT BUT I JUST TRIED TO BAT IT AWAY INSTEAD

      Yes see this is why I like library books because they’re almost always hardcover, have lamination or whatever, aaaaand don’t belong to me. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

      Liked by 1 person

  14. […] 💛 Savannah talks about what makes a good book blog and shares some of her favourites 💛 Alice has tips and a tutorial for using Edelweiss Plus 💛 Inge teaches you how to fold your book into a heart or in ‘home’ 💛 It’s Angel’s fifth (fifth!!) blogoversary and she looks back on these past few years 💛 Shannon shares her weird (but wonderful) bookish habits 💛 Mia talks about why unhauling 30 books was the best decision she ever made 💛 CW reviews Want by Cindy Pon so let her convince you to read it because it sounds really good and important 💛 Em shares some LGBTQ+ music that she loves 💛 And talks about all the art she saw in Bristol 💛 Kira isn’t only celebrating her blogoversary, she’s also celebrating 100 followers so go increase that number because she deserves it 💛 Hannah wonders if using good grammar is worth it 💛 Ilsa interviewed Cait which was of course a really fun and hilarious interview because it’s Cait  💛 Holly wrote a discussion post on the phrase ”well, at least you’re reading something” 💛 Mikaela shares 10 of her most secretive bookish confessions 💛 May celebrated her 6-month blogoversary (HOW HAS SHE BEEN BLOGGING FOR ONLY 6 MONTHS) and answered some questions  💛 And she shared 9 reasons why we bookworms shouldn’t be trusted which is a genius way for non-b… […]

    Liked by 1 person

The Mango Queen demands your opinions.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s