9 Reasons Why You Should Never Ever Trust a Writer/Author (They’ll Actually Kill You) Ft. Emotional Pain

Writers are SCARY PEOPLE.

They can do many things to you, ranging from making you feel extreme emotions to also killing you.

AND THEY ACTUALLY ENJOY IT.

jal;ksdjfLJ;LFKJAL;SDJFlkjaf;lajkdsf They are evil and cruel and horrible and ghastly and yet we still love them.

But! MANY negative things happen to you that are caused by writers/authors, so that’s why I decided to make a list on why you should never trust writers. And also because I did a similar post with bookworms and it was much fun.

Note: This list consists of pain, pain, and pain, so if you don’t want to read the whole thing, THERE YOU GO! You have a one-word summary: PAIN.

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1. they emotionally manipulate you

WRITERS MAKE YOU FEEL. You feel sad. You feel miserable. You feel angry. You feel shocked. You feel ranty. You feel salty. Whatever the emotion is, YOU FEEL IT. Because of the writer.

Wow they’re so genius can I please be them.

Honestly, writers should change their job description from “people who write” to “people who manipulate people emotionally” because that is their actual job.

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not-so-smol list of authors who have manipulated me:

  • VE Schwab with FRICKING ACOL WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT I’M STILL DAMAGED LIKE THREE MONTHS LATER OMG.
  • Marie Lu with her endings to basically every series like WHY WHY WHY. Fun fact: Her book The Midnight Star is one of four books to EVER make me cry.
  • Leigh Bardugo with her amazing crew and twists and CLEVER HEISTS I DIDN’T SEE COMING???
  • Jay Kristoff and Amie Kaufman with Illuminae and Gemina which HI DESTROYED ME WITH THEIR PLOT TWISTS.
  • Marissa Meyer with her characters that I ship obsessively.
  • Rick Riordan with my beloved PJO series.* :’) Heart heart heart.
  • Louise O’Neill with the ending to Asking For It because EVEN THO SHE SAID that she didn’t mean to emotionally manipulate the reader??? SHE DID.

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*I had a dream last night that Percy was proposing to Annabeth and that I was Percy and that Poseidon also rose from the toilet help me I am insane.

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2. they can put you in a story and do and do bad things to you

THIS IS SCARY. Do you want to be preserved and remembered forever as “the bully” or “the beast” in a writer’s story? Or worse, as DEAD???

No you do not.

Image result for no you don't gif

Say my name is Betty Boo Boo and I was mean to May the Great, who is a writer. What will May the Great do???

She will probably 1) write me into her current novel except with a better name than “Betty Boo Boo”, 2) make me betray other characters or be betrayed, 3) make me suffer, 4) make me the bully, and 5) kill me off.

Don’t be Betty Boo Boo. Be May the Great.

(Actually please don’t because May the Great is modeled after me and you’d be a FAKE.)

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3. they will be mean to you if you interrupt their writing

This is similar to when people interrupt bookworms’ reading. But when you interrupt a writer’s writing, IT’S WORSE.

You could make them forget what they were about to write. You could make them forget an important word. YOU CAN MAKE THEM FORGET AN ENTIRE PLOT POINT ADSFJA;LSDJF;ALS THAT IS NOT GOOD.

This is just a portion of what they’ll do to you if you interrupt their writing, but they can throw things at you until you leave them alone, throw things at you until you get them food, put you in a story and do bad things* to you, and scream at you.

All very pleasant 10/10 recommend.

*I need a better vocabulary that doesn’t consist of “thing”.

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4. they pester you

Writers will definitely pester you, your sister, your friend, and your cow.

Image result for poke someone gif
the origin of all my nightmares

They will bother you for lots of reasons??? Maybe to get back at you for interrupting their writing. Or maybe one of the following reasons:

  • they need help with their plot (THIS IS ME PLEASE HELP I SUCK AT PLOTTING SOMEONE GIVE ME IDEAS)
  • they need NAME IDEAS omg names are the worst
  • they need TITLE IDEAS actually scratch what i said earlier because titles are the worst
  • they want you to read you writing
  • but they also don’t
  • so then they keep screaming at you to read it
  • and to not read it
  • and to read it
  • and to not read it
  • they want food
  • or they just want to bother you idk sometimes i’m like that too

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5. they will avoid you to write

So I’m not sure if this is true of published authors (because I’ve never been friends with one and/or BEEN one), but I FOR SURE* will avoid talking to my sister to write. Or avoid talking to my friends. Or avoid talking to anyone, basically.

I’ll also say “HOLD ON” and “COMING” and “ONE SECOND” when someone calls me to dinner but not actually go down until after I’ve written a few more sentences. Or a page.

I just did it right now. :))

*But the question is… do I qualify for a writer??? *intense existential crisis*

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6. they make you cry and drink your tears

Image result for i make my readers cry and drink their tears

DO YOU SEE THIS MEME??? It 100% proves that authors actively make their readers cry and drink their tears. I don’t know if they specically make readers cry JUST to drink tears but don’t you see how evil this is???

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7. they know you’re heartbroken but still make you even more heartbroken

All the authors I listed above (specifically SCHWAB KRISTOFF/KAUFMAN LU AND BARDUGO*) KNOW that they’ve broken your heart, and what do they do with their next book???

BREAK YOUR HEART AGAIN.

Asdflkajsd;flajsdfadjfl;as Heartbreak makes it extremely hard to live don’t they know???

This also happens with writers who haven’t published anything. In fact, THEY DO IT TO THEMSELVES. If I ever finish writing a novel** I probably will make myself cry with the amount of torture/death I put my characters through.

But despite my own sobbing, I will PROBABLY DO IT AGAIN.

Image result for whyyyyy gif

*But mostly Schwab tbh.
**Ha. Ha. Ha. :’)

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8. they lie

Going off of the whole “heartbreak sobbing emotional manipulation” theme: Writers will lie to you about NEVER EVER breaking your heart again… but then GUESS WHAT THEY DO.

They break your heart.

But other ways that they lie include 1) MOVING RELEASE DATES OF THEIR BOOKS UGH (although this is not really on the author but the publishing company), and 2) being modest about their work and blushing and saying “it’s not good” WHEN IT’S GOOD.

They also lie about character deaths and plot twists to make you feel better but AHAHAHA IT FEELS WORSE.

You know what else they lie about??? Six-page excerpts that are actually MISSING the fifth page like omg w h a t  i s  t h i s. (Referring to YOU, Obsidio.)

Wait… actually there is a fifth page…

Excuse me while I lowkey SCREAM.

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9. they make you feel a lot of pain

^^ A SUMMARY OF THE ENTIRE POST.

Let’s recap on how writers and authors cause you pain, yes?

  • You are emotionally manipulated.
  • They make a character off of you and kill you off.
  • You get things thrown at you/screamed at when you interrupt their writing.
  • You cry.
  • You face heartbreak and CONTINUE to face heartbreak even though writers know they’re breaking your heart.
  • You think you won’t face pain but then you do.

Writers/authors make you feel pain aka NEVER STAY AWAY FROM THEM AND ALWAYS NEVER TRUST THEM WITH YOUR HEART.

Image result for pain gif


shall we chat

moral of the story: stay away from writers/authors because PAIN. what are some other reasons why we shouldn’t trust writers/authors? are YOU a writer? what’s a book you’ve been emotionally manipulated™ by? and do you ever have weird percabeth proposal dreams???

sign off 2.0

81 thoughts on “9 Reasons Why You Should Never Ever Trust a Writer/Author (They’ll Actually Kill You) Ft. Emotional Pain

  1. YES AUTHORS ARE SO EVIL AND SHOULD BE AVOIDED SO I SHOULD BASICALLY JUST NEVER TO TALK WITH MYSELF! Yes, I do talk to myself. But I shall stop. Because I’m too bad a person to hang with.

    what are some other reasons why we shouldn’t trust writers/authors?:
    They talk to themselves. *coughs* At least, CERTAIN authors do … who I won’t mention … because, um, it would be awkward … because I already talked about this.

    And they’re just weird and scary. Really weird. And really, reaaaaaaallllly scary. And obsessed. And at first you’re like, “Wow, that person is self-obsessed!” and then you realize they’re actually obsessed with their fictional characters & worlds … it’s scary … XD

    are YOU a writer?:
    Yep.

    what’s a book you’ve been emotionally manipulated™ by?:
    Every book I’ve ever read and loved? Like …. alllll the books! Mostly ones you wouldn’t know, though. Like I read a lot of historical fiction and classes.

    and do you ever have weird percabeth proposal dreams???:
    Nope. Never. But you know, maybe I will someday. You never know. I did have a weird dream about Psych (a TV show) once that involved me being Juliet and … yeah. It was awkward because I knew I wasn’t Juliet but no one else did.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Stop talking to yourself Kellyn!!! *says the girl who pretends she’s a Youtuber sometimes*

      Oh, yes, writers just REALLY obsess over their books and characters, haha! It’s really scary. And weird.

      ALL BOOKS DEFINITELY EMOTIONALLY MANIPULATE ME.

      And see??? Writers also have really weird dreams. Stay away from them. (And let them write in peace.)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I do that, too! But most of my talking to myself involves me narrating my life … “Now, I’m going to wash my dishes … and I’m turning around … and putting the dish in the counter …” XD I’m a creep. What can I say?

        True, true! My obsession is deep and scary and awkward for everyone else around me.

        BOOKS ARE THE VILLAINS – NOT THE PEOPLE! 😛

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Okay, so i think the point of this post is just…WRITERS BRING YOU PAINNNN.But the moral of this story is stupid. I cannot stay away from authors. I fangirl, I read their books, I ASDFGHJKL okay?
    And who says I don’t like pain. BRING IT TO ME. PAINNNN. MUAHHAHAHHAHA. We shouldn’t trust fantasy authors because they know how to write fight and stabby scenes, SO THAT MEANS THEY MUST KNOW HOW TO DO THAT and they could sneak up on us and be a thief or a spy. Also they probably know magic and not sharing those secrets with you so yeah.

    I mean I think I’M A WRITER? WHO KNOWS. Yes I am. But i’ve never written anything emotional so AM I A WRITER? You trust me May RIGHT? Oh no!

    Emotionally manipulated by The Kite Runner, A Monster Calls, A conjuring Of Light, Crooked Kingdom, THE LIST DOES NOT GO ON BECAUSE #mangoldmoments. Sorry I haven’t read PJ so no weird dreams for me???

    Liked by 1 person

    1. WRITERS BRINGYOU SO MUCH PAIN OMGGGGG. No, the moral of the story isn’t stupid!!! It’s very important, but it doesn’t really teach you anything. 😛

      Omg THAT IS TRUE! But I pretend to know how to write fight/stabby scenes even tho I actually don’t know how to do that. XD

      YES YOU’RE A WRITER! And yes I trust you… maybe. :)))

      ACOL and CK are definitely emotionally manipulative aghlasd;jasld. And YOU NEED TO READ PJO ASAP.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Lol – for my third book there were over 100 titles being debated. I have way less trouble with names and plot points (I write them down so if I’m interrupted I don’t turn to scary author). Freely admit to delighting in drawing emotional responses. I do it gladly and with wicked enjoyment especially if I know it’s going to get readers gasping with shock and awe… and maybe even horror. Like this thing I just wrote in chapter four of my latest book… bwuahahahahaha ahem hahahaha 💕

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I basically approach my series like one day every note or doodle I make is going to be compiled into a cool looking visual scrapbook and reprinted for interested readers. Which encourages me to write them down when I have the ideas (even if I’m at the computer) onto paper. I actually later try to scrapbook them into a spiral notebook (not so cool looking but gets the job done). I also keep a spreadsheet of every character ever with columns for every descriptive physical and personal detail I write for the character. There’s another spreadsheet for names and their meanings because I generally choose names because of meanings (not always sometimes it just because of how they sound or look) and their pronunciations for the audiobooks. As for the 100 book titles for book three nothing jumped out at me so I played with words and arrangements. I made a list of all the words I could think of to describe the book and then added more by thesaurus. Eventually I realized I was way too close to the book and took my top ten and handed them off to my friends with kids and asked them to poll for the kids’ opinions. My current book title for the book (Zaria Fierce and the Dragon Keeper’s Golden Shoes) was the nearly unanimous choice. Others I was told were not the right genre (looked like mysteries CS fantasy) and some were too babyish for the age of the readers and some were confusing (like as if google translate had a go at the title) lol as for my shock value stuff – not so surprisingly to me because I half plot and half wing it – surprises even me! Like I meant to go to one kingdom in book four and another set of characters hijacked the story and kidnapped the MCs. In my current WIP something happened to a character that I had vaguely planned for a later book and I immediately went oh I’m a bad bad bad mean mean author and said okay keeping it here and not forcing it to happen later. The best ideas for me always find the right time to insert themselves. I plan but I am always happy to toss it aside for a better version of things.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. To answer thine questions:

    moral of the story: stay away from writers/authors because PAIN.

    wut. how. this is impossib;e

    what are some other reasons why we shouldn’t trust writers/authors?

    We’ve researched how to kill people. so.

    are YOU a writer?

    yesh.

    what’s a book you’ve been emotionally manipulated™ by?

    House of Hades, man. and also that MG book Pax i mean that was one book that murdered my feeings. Illuminae, too. oh, and the hunger games.

    and do you ever have weird percabeth proposal dreams???

    it was actually percachel at the time but yes. also hayffie. a lot of hayffie.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. IKRRRR HOW’D YOU DO THIS? OH WELL IT’S FINE

        IKR AND MARK OF ATHENA WAS MURDEROUS. AND ILLUMINAE I WAS LIKE WHA NO WAIT I UM NO I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR THIS

        loook, may, i was a small child once who would root for underdogs. I’m normalish now. Percabeth forever.

        BUT HAYFFIEEEEE

        Liked by 1 person

  5. I loved this post May, and oh I agree with so many of these points. 🙂 The whole of ACOL destroyed me, in fact nearly all of V.E. Schwab’s books have destroyed me in one way or another, and the ending to the Legend trilogy was insane (your comment about The Midnight Star has made me both more excited and more nervous to read it. I can’t wait!)
    Also definitely agree with your point about how writers could write you into their stories and do horrible things to you if your mean to them. When I was younger I would base all my characters off people I knew, and of course the people I didn’t like wouldn’t be good characters in my stories! 😀 Now I try not to base characters off real people, I find it easier to write that way.
    Again great post! 😀 ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. ACOL and other Schwab books have definitely destroyed me! I’m reading ODD right now and I am SCARED FOR MY LIFE. And oh god, I hope you’ll like The Young Elites if you read it! ❤

      Ahaha, yes! I remember one time when I was young, I wrote a story based on me and my classmates. It's easier to base characters on people irl, I agree, but creating new characters is fun too! 😀

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh my god you are going to LOVE ODD May, I reckon it will end up destroying part of your soul like all other V.E. Schwab books to date have done, but it’s going to be a book you love all the same! 😀 Thanks, I hope so too.
        It gives you more control creating characters from scratch. Plus you don’t have to worry about any real life people reading your stories and realising you did horrible things to ‘them’ in your books! 😀

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Hahahaha how trueeeee. Agh now I HAVE to read The Young Elites! I was a big fan of her Legend trilogy so I’m sure I’ll like it. Your list of books that manipulated you is now part of my tbr btw…Getting dragged down by the pain and feels of YA fiction is what I do. 🤷🤷

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Omg you’re so funny 😂😂😂😂😂I was literally dying of laughter the whole time I was reading this, and lol, I wish my dreams were as interesting as yours. PERCABETH IS MY OTP. ❤️(Besides me and chocolate)

    Writers. Are. So. Weird. I got a story idea in history class today, but my teacher wouldn’t have let me write it down, so I had to wait. Then I forgot about it until I had to change for soccer practice, so I was writing down my story idea while simultaneously putting my shin guards on. Yay. XD

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Agagaha I’m so glad you laughed when you read my post!!! And PERCABETH IS MY OTP AS WELL (tho you and chocolate is quite nice).

      OMG HOW RUDE WAS YOUR TEACHER TO NOT LET YOU WRITE DOWN AN IDEA??? I’m glad that you remembered it tho. 😂

      Like

  8. Your dream lmao xD I had a dream about Percabeth where the went on a picnic only to be chased by rabid creatures known as ‘fangirls’. *shudders* That was scary. Also all your reasons on why not to trust writers are on point *thumbs up* Another reason you shouldn’t trust them is because they know how to kill people. Both on and off paper. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I think writers are the only people who are encouraged and PAID to lie to, torture, and kill innocent readers/characters/random people on the street.
    I need one of those levers they always have in cartoons that I can pull when someone interrupts me while I’m writing and the floor will open up under them and they will fall into a bottomless pit.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. YOUR PERCY JACKSON DREAM OMG I’M DYING THAT’S HILARIOUS. I’ve never dreamt of Percy Jackson I think? But I have dreamed about Harry Potter a few times. One time I dreamed that I was hiding in the bathroom from the troll with a bunch of Harry Potter characters but I don’t remember what happened after that 😦
    ANYWAY YES AUTHORS ARE EVIL AND NEED TO BE AVOIDED AT ALL COSTS SO WE CAN PROTECT OUR FRAGILE HEARTS WHEN WILL THE GIVE US A BREAK. Even if a few authors may decide ‘hey, let’s not break our readers’ heart this time’ OTHER AUTHORS WILL KEEP ON BREAKING OUR HEARTS WE CAN’T ESCAPE

    Liked by 1 person

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