Writers are SCARY PEOPLE.
They can do many things to you, ranging from making you feel extreme emotions to also killing you.
AND THEY ACTUALLY ENJOY IT.
jal;ksdjfLJ;LFKJAL;SDJFlkjaf;lajkdsf They are evil and cruel and horrible and ghastly and yet we still love them.
But! MANY negative things happen to you that are caused by writers/authors, so that’s why I decided to make a list on why you should never trust writers. And also because I did a similar post with bookworms and it was much fun.
Note: This list consists of pain, pain, and pain, so if you don’t want to read the whole thing, THERE YOU GO! You have a one-word summary: PAIN.
1. they emotionally manipulate you
WRITERS MAKE YOU FEEL. You feel sad. You feel miserable. You feel angry. You feel shocked. You feel ranty. You feel salty. Whatever the emotion is, YOU FEEL IT. Because of the writer.
Wow they’re so genius can I please be them.
Honestly, writers should change their job description from “people who write” to “people who manipulate people emotionally” because that is their actual job.
not-so-smol list of authors who have manipulated me:
- VE Schwab with FRICKING ACOL WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT I’M STILL DAMAGED LIKE THREE MONTHS LATER OMG.
- Marie Lu with her endings to basically every series like WHY WHY WHY. Fun fact: Her book The Midnight Star is one of four books to EVER make me cry.
- Leigh Bardugo with her amazing crew and twists and CLEVER HEISTS I DIDN’T SEE COMING???
- Jay Kristoff and Amie Kaufman with Illuminae and Gemina which HI DESTROYED ME WITH THEIR PLOT TWISTS.
- Marissa Meyer with her characters that I ship obsessively.
- Rick Riordan with my beloved PJO series.* :’) Heart heart heart.
- Louise O’Neill with the ending to Asking For It because EVEN THO SHE SAID that she didn’t mean to emotionally manipulate the reader??? SHE DID.
*I had a dream last night that Percy was proposing to Annabeth and that I was Percy and that Poseidon also rose from the toilet help me I am insane.
2. they can put you in a story and do and do bad things to you
THIS IS SCARY. Do you want to be preserved and remembered forever as “the bully” or “the beast” in a writer’s story? Or worse, as DEAD???
No you do not.
Say my name is Betty Boo Boo and I was mean to May the Great, who is a writer. What will May the Great do???
She will probably 1) write me into her current novel except with a better name than “Betty Boo Boo”, 2) make me betray other characters or be betrayed, 3) make me suffer, 4) make me the bully, and 5) kill me off.
Don’t be Betty Boo Boo. Be May the Great.
(Actually please don’t because May the Great is modeled after me and you’d be a FAKE.)
3. they will be mean to you if you interrupt their writing
This is similar to when people interrupt bookworms’ reading. But when you interrupt a writer’s writing, IT’S WORSE.
You could make them forget what they were about to write. You could make them forget an important word. YOU CAN MAKE THEM FORGET AN ENTIRE PLOT POINT ADSFJA;LSDJF;ALS THAT IS NOT GOOD.
This is just a portion of what they’ll do to you if you interrupt their writing, but they can throw things at you until you leave them alone, throw things at you until you get them food, put you in a story and do bad things* to you, and scream at you.
All very pleasant 10/10 recommend.
*I need a better vocabulary that doesn’t consist of “thing”.
4. they pester you
Writers will definitely pester you, your sister, your friend, and your cow.
They will bother you for lots of reasons??? Maybe to get back at you for interrupting their writing. Or maybe one of the following reasons:
- they need help with their plot (THIS IS ME PLEASE HELP I SUCK AT PLOTTING SOMEONE GIVE ME IDEAS)
- they need NAME IDEAS omg names are the worst
- they need TITLE IDEAS actually scratch what i said earlier because titles are the worst
- they want you to read you writing
- but they also don’t
- so then they keep screaming at you to read it
- and to not read it
- and to read it
- and to not read it
- they want food
- or they just want to bother you idk sometimes i’m like that too
5. they will avoid you to write
So I’m not sure if this is true of published authors (because I’ve never been friends with one and/or BEEN one), but I FOR SURE* will avoid talking to my sister to write. Or avoid talking to my friends. Or avoid talking to anyone, basically.
I’ll also say “HOLD ON” and “COMING” and “ONE SECOND” when someone calls me to dinner but not actually go down until after I’ve written a few more sentences. Or a page.
I just did it right now. :))
*But the question is… do I qualify for a writer??? *intense existential crisis*
6. they make you cry and drink your tears
DO YOU SEE THIS MEME??? It 100% proves that authors actively make their readers cry and drink their tears. I don’t know if they specically make readers cry JUST to drink tears but don’t you see how evil this is???
7. they know you’re heartbroken but still make you even more heartbroken
All the authors I listed above (specifically SCHWAB KRISTOFF/KAUFMAN LU AND BARDUGO*) KNOW that they’ve broken your heart, and what do they do with their next book???
BREAK YOUR HEART AGAIN.
Asdflkajsd;flajsdfadjfl;as Heartbreak makes it extremely hard to live don’t they know???
This also happens with writers who haven’t published anything. In fact, THEY DO IT TO THEMSELVES. If I ever finish writing a novel** I probably will make myself cry with the amount of torture/death I put my characters through.
But despite my own sobbing, I will PROBABLY DO IT AGAIN.
*But mostly Schwab tbh.
**Ha. Ha. Ha. :’)
8. they lie
Going off of the whole “heartbreak sobbing emotional manipulation” theme: Writers will lie to you about NEVER EVER breaking your heart again… but then GUESS WHAT THEY DO.
They break your heart.
But other ways that they lie include 1) MOVING RELEASE DATES OF THEIR BOOKS UGH (although this is not really on the author but the publishing company), and 2) being modest about their work and blushing and saying “it’s not good” WHEN IT’S GOOD.
They also lie about character deaths and plot twists to make you feel better but AHAHAHA IT FEELS WORSE.
You know what else they lie about??? Six-page excerpts that are actually MISSING the fifth page like omg w h a t i s t h i s. (Referring to YOU, Obsidio.)
Wait… actually there is a fifth page…
Excuse me while I lowkey SCREAM.
9. they make you feel a lot of pain
^^ A SUMMARY OF THE ENTIRE POST.
Let’s recap on how writers and authors cause you pain, yes?
- You are emotionally manipulated.
- They make a character off of you and kill you off.
- You get things thrown at you/screamed at when you interrupt their writing.
- You cry.
- You face heartbreak and CONTINUE to face heartbreak even though writers know they’re breaking your heart.
- You think you won’t face pain but then you do.
Writers/authors make you feel pain aka
NEVER STAY AWAY FROM THEM AND ALWAYS NEVER TRUST THEM WITH YOUR HEART.
moral of the story: stay away from writers/authors because PAIN. what are some other reasons why we shouldn’t trust writers/authors? are YOU a writer? what’s a book you’ve been emotionally manipulated™ by? and do you ever have weird percabeth proposal dreams???