There are MANY things that offend bookworms.
Some of these include: 1) insulting their fandom/favorite book, 2) interrupting their reading, and 3) not giving them your money when they
demand politely ask for it omggg how ruder can you get.
But not only can your ACTIONS offend bookworms and/or make them cry, but also your words. And because bookworms are very fragile creatures who will easily break, I’ve compiled a list of 9 things you should NEVER say to a bookworm.
Unless you want to die, of course. In that case, go on ahead and tell every bookworm you know the following phrases! You most definitely WILL NOT get a pineapple thrown at your head???
Seriously tho, you don’t want a pineapple thrown at your head—LOOK AT HOW SPIKY THEY ARE.
But pineapples are also quite aesthetic and come on you LIVE for the aesthetics…
NOTE: I’m a bit salty in this post so beware of that. :))
1. “here’s another book for your tbr!!!”
SO BOOKWORMS EITHER LOVE RECOMMENDATIONS OR HATE IT. I’m that one kid who loves it but also hates it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Seriously tho? Something makes me happy about expanding my TBR. If it’s happy in a sadistic, “oh look more books that I will never ever get to read and will one day all fall on my head and kill me!!” way.
BUT you have to admit that when someone recommends you a book, it’s likely to be GOOD. And you want to read all the good books, yeah?
Also does it not give you pride to have 1000+ books on your TBR like WHOA 1K HOW COOL IS THAT.*
But then other times you just feel like a depressed lump of wet cardboard whenever someone recommends you a book because how the frick will you have time to read this precious smol book??? Spoiler: YOU WON’T.
*I’m sorry, I swear I’m not here to look cool.
Stop it May you’re sUCH A LIAR.
2. “[insert spoiler]”
NEVER. SPOIL. A. BOOKWORM.
This is what will happen to you:
^^ how to keep idiots entertained for 30 seconds ^^
Well actually, a correction: Never spoil a bookworm if they know what the book is that you’re spoiling. So like maybe you say, “There’s this one book where the MC dies at the end and it’s not even that great because she just randomly DIES.”
And then you proceed to rant about it, but do you give away the actual book title? NOPE. Therefore I don’t classify it as spoiling it.
But other bookworms are sensitive be careful.
3. “um… don’t you need more shelves???”
No, despite the fact that my books are strewn all over the floor and I cannot shove them onto my shelf, I do not need any more bookshelves.
UM DUH I DO WHY ARE YOU POINTING OUT THE OBVIOUS???
Obviously we need more bookshelves. Please don’t rub it in that I do not have the money or space for that. I CAN SEE. I HAVE EYES. My precious books need a home, I know!!! Please stop making me feel horrible!!! Thanks homie!!!
4. “what puny little arms you have.”
This is a VERY SENSITIVE BOOKWORM TOPIC because you know what an extremely underrated bookworm struggle is??? The fact is that books weigh A LOT and if we’re doing it right, we’re gonna carry MANY books and that just equals much pain in the arms.
I mean, this is your girl who once did like 60 push-ups in a row (idk how I did that honestly) and she STILL has trouble carrying a stack of 7 hardcover books.
WHY ARE BOOKS SO HEAVY.
And more importantly why are they SO EXPENSIVE.
And then when you’re holding them up to read, sometimes your arms just give out and the book falls on your face because your arms are like “Why do I have to sustain this pain???”
Do not talk to bookworms about having puny arms, okay. WE’RE TRYING TO DENY THIS FACT.
I WILL NOT CHILL I HAVE NO CHILL WHATSOEVER HOW CAN YOU TELL ME TO CHILL I’M LIKE A RED HOT CHILI PEPPER DIPPED IN HOT SAUCE AND OTHER SPICY THINGS* AND ALSO LITERALLY ON FIRE.
Yeah, I actually do not have any chill.
But seriously!!! People can say “chill” to readers at so many occasions, the more common ones being when 1) they’re damaged, 2) they need to cry, 3) they need to rant, 4) they’re angry about something in the book, and/or 5) THEY NEED A MOMENT OF FANGIRLY SQUEALS OMG.
There are other non-chill moments, which just proves that we canNOT chill, so just don’t even bother telling us to.
Also this would be the appropriate place to stick in “they also tell me to chill with the amount of books I devour” but alas, I do not read that many books. I cry.
*I cannot eat spicy food for my life btw??? WHICH IS BAD because I’m Thai and a lot of Thai food is spicy help.
6. “i’ve never read [insert fav book/series]”
BOI YOU GET ON IT ASAP BECAUSE YOU NEED THIS IN YOUR LIFE OR ELSE YOU WILL ACTUALLY DIE K.
^^ Legit what I want to scream at everyone in this and other universes about multiple books.
Okay, so maybe bookworms can be a little self-righteous in the way that we are completely awestruck by the fact that people haven’t read our fav books but my friend, we do not have time to be self-righteous and we just need to SCREAM AT PEOPLE TO READ THE DANG BOOKS.
I mean, gently and politely encourage for others to pick up a book and see if they like it.
I’m very gentle and polite.
Not screaming inside.
No. Not at all.
7. “what are you reading?”
Hello, my name is May and I hate when people ask me “What are you reading?” because this usually means that they see me reading a book and INTERRUPT MY READING TO ASK THAT QUESTION WHO DARES TO DO SUCH A CRIME OMGGGGGGGG.
And then the also doing it when I have the book propped up on a table and they can fully see the cover and title but still they ask me what I’m reading. No thanks???
OH OH OH and there’s also when they ask you to SUMMARIZE what the book is about like heck no I’m here to read and enjoy my book and not summarize like a fricking school assignment.
Also I probably don’t remember what happened on the previous page so that’s a bit #awkward.
8. “you’re such a bookworm.”
…Is this supposed to be an insult???
I am a bookworm and proud. And you make it sound like an INSULT.
HAHAHAHHAHAHHAAHA get out of my face. Now.
9. “stop reading.” or “you’re always reading.”
I am a READER. What am I expected to do if not READ??? Telling me to stop reading it like telling me to stop breathing and do you really want to tell me to die.
Frankly, I’d be scared if I wasn’t reading. One time I didn’t read anything for 24 hours and I freaked out. Books are honestly our oxygen* and WE CAN’T STOP READING. Thus why you can’t ask us to do that, because it’s futile and annoying.
ALSO WHILE YOU’RE AT IT, please do not 1) cover the page with your hand, 2) interrupt us while we’re reading, and/or 3) do anything else to distract us from the beauty that is called a book.
Honestly this one annoys me the most because HELLO am I called a reader because I DON’T read books??? What even @ everyone.
*Please help THIS SOUNDS GRAMMATICALLY INCORRECT AND IT’S BOTHERING ME.
are you a bookworm? do you want to strangle people when they say these things? what else shouldn’t people say to you, lest they want to die a horrible death? is it spoiling if the person you’re spoiling doesn’t know the book title? can you eat spicy food??? (teach me your ways)
P.S. are those my ugly legs + hand in the featured image??? yes, yes they are. (THE FILTER MAKES THEM LOOK UGLIER THAN THEY ARE OKAY.)