May’s Moments of the Month: January // The New Year is New but Not Better, I Feel Dead, and I Struggle (a Lot)

January… was all over the place.

Like my whole life tbh???

2018 started out VERY STRONGLY. (Probably because for the first week, I had no school???) But then it quickly turned into a bad month as soon as I went back to school, and from then it’s just been up and down.

I’ve been having really weird moods lately, usually all of them relating to the “I feel dead about everything” mood. I’m at the point where I don’t get a lot of sleep, I procrastinate my homework, procrastinate everything, DO nothing, and feel kinda like “uhhh everything is pointless?”

The only thing I have strong (HAPPY!!) emotions about is talking to my friends, who are very nice usually and serve as a good distraction.

But !! I guess January did have SOME highlights? (Or this is me trying to be unrealistically optimistic.)

mmm reading

I read 7 books this month, and one of them was an online short story. I’M SO DISAPPOINTED IN MYSELF UGGGHH. But tbh I actually have two causes for this, instead of me wondering where all my reading motivation went, and those causes are:

  1. I felt dead about everything, including reading.
  2. THE CITY OF BRASS PUT ME IN A SLUMP, PUT ME TO SLEEP, AND I WANT TO PUT IT DOWN. ON THE GROUND. WHERE SOMEONE WILL STEP ON IT WITH HIGH HEELS.

(Okay just kidding, not even that horrible book deserves that.)

Looking at the star ratings as a whole for this month, the books I read weren’t that BAD? But everything felt SUPER slow because of that one particular book, and it kind of ruined everything for me.

Dear Martin  One  Finnikin of the Rock (Lumatere Chronicles, #1)

Reign the Earth (The Elementae, #1)  Moxie  Girls Made of Snow and Glass

star ratings link to reviews!!

  • Dear Martin Nic Stone // Y’all, this book!!! This is SO SO important, deserves more hype, and is just as much as a must-read as THUG! I absolutely loved it, and tho it was way too short, I finished it in just one day, which I’m proud of. ★★★★☆ [4.5]
  • One Sarah Crossan // Well. This (recommended) book of poetry was SO. SO. boring, and I almost fell asleep reading it multiple times. But then the ending was really heartbreaking?? And I got tears in my eyes??? Unfortunately, I’m mean and heartless so. ★★☆☆☆
  • Finnikin of the Rock Melina Marchetta // Apparently this is the month of reading Mays recommended books and being disappointed?? But while this one was so BORING and CONFUSING, it wasn’t necessarily bad!! Just,,, not amazing. ★★★☆☆
  • Reign the Earth S.C. Gaughen // I got this as an ARC from Julianna and I ended up LOVING IT??? I expected to give it like, three stars, but I enjoyed it so much. Characters, setting, plot were all amazing, even if there were heavy topics. ★★★★☆
  • Moxie Jennifer Mathieu // Yes for feminist books!!! This book was so empowering and said everything I wanted to say about feminism. Wish it had included moe intersectionality but it at least talked about it so that’s good! ★★★★☆
  • Girls Made of Snow and Glass Melissa Bashardoust // This was a beautiful story, and the writing was SO engaging. My only complaint is that it could’ve been waaay gayer?? ★★★★☆
  • Seventh Day of the Seventh Moon Ken Liu // I LOVE the queer Asian rep because YES!!! but the story itself wasn’t that amazing (tho I did love the Chinese mythology!) ★★★☆☆

In addition to the books I finished, I’m currently reading The City of Brass (ew), To Kill a Mockingbird (slightly less ew but still ew), and At the Edge of the Universe (so good)!! These were all started in January.

ARCs?

GUESS WHO GOT A PHYSICAL ARC THIS MONTH!!!

Thank you SO SO much to Sourcebooks Fire for sending me Furyborn, I am super excited to read it (especially because I’ve heard there is a bisexual main character)!! It sounds AMAZING, and while I didn’t love one of this author’s books before, I’m 90% sure I’ll like this one.

favorite book of the month?

Well, of course, it’s Dear Martin!! That book was SO important and I think that everyone needs to read it, whether you are white, POC, American, or not American. It holds such a significant message, especially today, and it’s just?? amazing???

disappointment of the month?

I haven’t finished this yet, but THE CITY OF BRASS CAN CHOKE I HATE IT I HATE IT. I kind of wanted to DNF, but I kind of don’t.

Honestly?? This was one of my MOST ANTICIPATED reads, and all my friends praising it added to my high expectations. I stroked this book when I got it. I mentally five-starred it. And what does it look like right now??? I DON’T KNOW, BECAUSE I DON’T EVEN WANT TO LOOK AT IT.

favorite review?

I wrote so many reviews this month???? I mean, I still have reviews to write from SEPTEMBER (can someone please like,,, choke me actually no choke City of Brass) but at least I got a few of my January books reviewed!!

My favorite review, obviously, is my Six of Crows review. Y’all, I’m not kidding, it took me AT LEAST FIVE HOURS to finish it. But I recounted all my favorite moments & favorite quotes (and added my own commentary of course), and every time I read it, I get this feeling of contentment. Because reading my own review* makes me relive Six of Crows, and reliving that book is one of the best experiences I’ll ever have.

*This sounds incredibly self-conceited, and I will assure you, it is.

mmm blogging

Well, first off, it was my one year-blogiversary!! I put up my new design (which I’m still kind of working on), had a Q&A (answers coming soon!) and also a feedback survey, which y’all can still take!! I can’t believe I’ve been in this community for only one year; it feels like so much longer?!

Oh and I also felt really dead about blogging (and everything in general) so that was SUPER FUN.

stats?

  • 8 posts
  • 4,456 views
  • 855 likes
  • 681 comments
  • 83 WP followers + 2 email followers – 1 email follower (idk why I’m being so specific with this)
  • oh and on Jan. 22 (my blogiversary), I hit a record-breaking 446 views that day??? A;FLJSLDFKJASHJK

(Since September when I took a hiatus, my stats have kind of stayed in the same area, but now it just all increased for some reason??? THANK YOOOU.)

top posts of the month?

wp tips tricks  wp improvements  1 yr blogiversary

favorite post of the month?

2017 reading stats

That featured image is UGLY and literally has no color whatsoever??? But I enjoyed writing this post so so much—it was super fun to look back on my reading year and wrap everything up, and also make some graphs about stats and things like that!!

I’m a nerd, basically.

posts i loved?

  • Cait @ Paper Fury gave ten bookworm-related things we should leave behind in 2017 and I agree with all of them (especially the whole authors-in-reviewers’-spaces thing!!).
  • Ilsa @ A Whisper of Ink talked about not feeling like blogging anymore and it hit me so hard, but it’s such a beautiful and raw and real post.
  • Ju @ Blots of Ink and Words wrote a very nice year recap and we apparently met in May??? (Which is ICONIC, 10/10 @ our timing, now I’m officially hibernating until May so I can meet everyone only during my month.)
  • Marie @ Drizzle and Hurricane Books talked about why she doesn’t do monthly TBRs and I 100% agree with her!! Honestly, people who make TBRs are 1) very organized and 2) committed. I am neither of those things.
  • Emma @ In Search of Dragons wrote SUCH. A. GOOD. POST. about separating problematic creators from their content. I’m literally shoving everyone to go read this post, it’s such a fantastically written discussion aaahhhh!!
  • Analee @ Book Snacks discussed pressure to write “quality content” in the blogging world, and I found her words to be so true? Not enough of bloggers’ posts are “real” posts—you can see that my posts are often very bookish-related and not at all personal.
  • Lu @ It’s Lu Again talked about ARCs pertaining to bloggers and I SOOOO AGREEEE. I know that I definitely feel like getting ARCs makes me a more “worthy” blogger, and not getting makes me less worthy, but that’s not !! true !! at !! all !!
  • May @ My 1st Chapter returned from an unplanned hiatus (good job honey).

mmm writing.PNG

  • Okay. So this month, writing was a MESS.
  • You know how I made a plan for January through April, writing-wise?
  • Yeah, well. I killed that plan.
  • I ended up randomly getting a new WIP idea that I have literally FALLEN IN LOVE IN. (I won’t say anything about it yet except that it’s a queer gender-flipped Peter Pan retelling, which is already too much information.)
  • I’m SO SO excited to be planning this out and outlining it and writing it and !!! Already I can tell that this story will mean a lot more to me than other books I’ve written have and uGh I’m sO ExCITeD.
  • But my problem is that I have the motivation, but no inspiration. So all I’m able to do is type out in a document random things that I just say to myself and make absolutely no sense. So basically all my writing ever.
  • On top of that, I have the want to write poems, but no inspiration either!!! (Like I said, I was DEAD this month. DEAD.) My poems were decent at the beginning of January but then they just… got worse. (Which describes my whole life, basically.)
  • Here’s the snippets of the month because I need validation:

  • But I did do something that I was very anxious to do so I’m proud of myself for that!!!

mmm-life.png

  • OH BOY. SO MANY LIFE THINGS.
  • First off, if you haven’t heard me ranting yet, I’VE BEEN DEAD. This whole month, I WAS DEAD. And if I wasn’t dead, I was anxious and going to be dead.
  • I blame school??? Like they expect me to go to school, do my homework, do extracurricular activities, AND not stress about it at all???? DID I MISS THE MEMO OR SOMETHING.
  • But yeah, my main focus has been school, and then I just kept procrastinating that and not even being productive with OTHER things (like blogging, reading, writing, reviewing, etc.). Who gave myself the right to do this to myself. I take back everything I said about being independent, SOMEONE CONTROL ME.*
  • I haven’t been getting much sleep (read above “procrastinating school”) which makes me tired which makes me walk around feeling dead. So I felt like so many things were pointless and I just had no motivation to do them.
  • At the end of the month, I stopped being dead when my anxiety got really bad, over something stupid, and I had a brief panic attack. So, uh, THAT WAS FUN!
  • (And thank you to everyone’s support over that, you all are so amazing and kind, and your words mean so much to me.)
  • Okay wow I thought I had a lot more life things but apparently it was just me being dead all month???

*But the question is, who can control me.

mmm old goals.PNG

READING

  • read at least 7 books  (I’m surprised that January-1-me knew that I’d only be able to read this much? like during the month I was like I CAN READ 9 BOOKS, but apparently, nope)
  • write & upload at least 5 reviews ✓ (I’M SO PROUD OF MYSELF!! I wrote & uploaded seven reviews to Goodreads this month, and tho I still have lots to write, I can’t believe I actually managed to do this)
  • keep track of reading stats in a spreadsheet  (this is so much fun I just want to keep adding books to the spreadsheet even tho I haven’t read them???)

WRITING

  • come up with an actual plot for Glittered Ghosts  (HAHAHHAHAH YEAH BYE GLITTERED GHOSTS SEE YOU NEVER)
  • write more poetry  (uhhhhh. no)
  • do a little… something  (so I talked about a “reveal about writing” and I only ended up revealing it to a few friends and not everyone here because even then with my friends I was anxious sooooo)

BLOGGING

  • reach 1,150 followers??  (THANK YOU SO MUCH I’M SO SURPRISED I REACHED THIS!!)
  • implement my new blog design!!  (y’all it’s so pretty I love it)
  • CELEBRATE MY ONE-YEAR BLOGIVERSARY  (so this was not a real goal… but I sTILL DID IT)

LIFE

  • drink 1 water bottle each day  (I think I drank a decent amount of water each day so I’m checking this, for the FIRST TIME EVER)
  • straighten back at least 1 time a day  (there were days I did, and days I didn’t, but I’m checking it because I like validation)
  • get 9 hours of sleep at least once a week  (hahahhahahaha)

mmm new goals.PNG

READING

  • read at least 9 books (okay I don’t think I’ve read this many books since like,,, September?? and I REALLY WANT TO READ LOTS OF BOOKS UGH)
  • write & upload at least 5 reviews (this should probably be a higher number but I procrastinate)
  • enjoy myself more? (this month was a very dead month concerning everything, but especially reading. I’ve been slump-ish for so many months and I jUST WANT TO LOVE READING)

WRITING

  • plot my WIP & maybe start outlining it? (I am so so so excited to start writing this but first I have to think of a good plot… I might be here a while)
  • write more poetry (I really want to achieve this goal this time!!)
  • write 4K short story for writing contest (I really suck at short stories I’m going to Die)

BLOGGING

  • reach 1,200 followers (I don’t know how much I’ll be posting this month so getting 40 followers seems like a reasonable amount to aim for I think?)
  • finalize other design elements (I have to make a mini divider thing but it should be really simple, but that’s all I can think of?)
  • COMMENT & REPLY TO COMMENTS ON TIME (I procrastinated SO BAD in January about posts and comments, and now I have 324205854 posts AND comments to catch up on fjsldfjlsdjfds)

LIFE

I’m not even doing commentary for these goals anymore you know what they are

  • drink 1 water bottle each day
  • straighten back at least 1 time a day
  • get 9 hours of sleep at least once a week

mmm looking ahead.PNG

Dance dance dance! My team’s spring show is coming up in March, and these last few Saturdays are our last few rehearsals before it! So we’re really starting to clean everything and go “full out”. Which also means that as soon as I wake up on Sunday mornings, my whole body CRIES OUT IN PAIN.

Too much school. Honestly, I can’t think of any big events that are happening this month?? Only SCHOOL SCHOOL SCHOOL. I’m already overwhelmed and it’s only been like three weeks into the new semester.

Lots of writing (I hope?). I REALLY want to brainstorm more ideas for my WIP and also possibly start outlining it this month, because I want to have it ready to write for April (Camp NaNo). Also! I want to write more poems, and I also want to enter a writing contest* where I have to write a 4K short story. SO. Lots of writing!!

*Yes, there is a cash prize. No, that is not the only reason I am entering. Yes, the other reason is that I liKE TO WIN.


shall we chat

so how was YOUR january? were you more alive than i was? (probably) how’s your reading going so far? any exciting new WIP ideas? tell me all about your january!!! and make sure to take care of yourselves!! 💕

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107 thoughts on “May’s Moments of the Month: January // The New Year is New but Not Better, I Feel Dead, and I Struggle (a Lot)

  1. You aren’t alone in feeling dead, I promise. It’s like… my brain didn’t want to pay attention to school ALL MONTH! And I didn’t want to do it (more than usual, I mean) and I wasn’t getting very much sleep either. 😂 I had a few more checkups on my collarbone (and have I ever mentioned that I HATE hospitals and checkups on me in general even if it’s good for me? 😂 I’m so weird. BUT ONE OF THEM INVOLVED A NEEDLE. I’M TERRIFIED OF NEEDLES! 😖)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. what’s the writing contest i want moneyyyyyyy
    also +good job on drinking
    -sorry about anxiety (but i get that sorry is super in adequate and no i don’t understand anxiety at all but like…)
    +reviewsss i don’t REALLY have a hard time with is but like good for you

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aahh I’m so sorry, the writing contest is between a local writer’s league and my school only! 😭

      Thank you! And haha, sorry doesn’t help my anxiety get any better but it does make me feel more supported. 💘 And oh, I just,,, ramble a lot in reviews, so it takes me like an hour to write one review. 😂

      Like

  3. Ah, May, your month sounds so hard! I’m so sorry about it was all over the place and felt not-so-great. I hope things slow down in February and you can catch your breath.
    Short story that I hope is semi-encouraging?
    My month ended with a massive migraine so I missed a bunch of homework assignments all due the DAY I HAD AN ALL DAY MIGRAINE. Like, can I take a test and have a migraine? Um, no. I can’t write a French composition and have a migraine. It just doesn’t work.
    I tried to talk to my French professor and let me make it up, but he can’t, because of policies. But he said, Just focus on the next thing, Elizabeth. I know you’re going to do great, you just have to press forward and not focus on what you missed.
    Now, it major sucked that he wouldn’t let me make up the assignment. 😒 But, his words were so encouraging. (He really cares, and is super kind, but again, class policies)
    SO I hope his super nice words are encouraging for you? 💕 Because they were MAJOR encouraging for me.

    Now, I need to read Dear Martin. I saw it at Barnes and Nobles today, but I didn’t snag it. Wish I had now!

    Also, your writing project sounds super cool! Queer Peter Pan is my aesthetic! I NEED this in my life! Please, I’m already SO excited!!! 😍
    And your dance competition sounds so AMAZING! I wish I could dance, but I’m liek the worst dancer to be created. I’m low key jealous of your talent. 😂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aaahh thank you so much for your kind words!! So far February is shaping up to be a much better month, thankfully. 😊

      Aww, that’s sad that you couldn’t make up the assignment! But those words are really inspiring, thank you for telling me them! It really is important to keep moving forward, especially concerning anxiety. 😊

      Oh yes, Dear Martin was SO GOOD and I hope you’ll be able to get your hands on it soon!! AAAHH I’m so happy you’re excited by my WIP omg 😭😭💕

      Like

      1. Thanks, I feel better now….speaking of laughing at other people’s pain, I had really sore muscles today because I finally did a full split yesterday, and my brother was talking to me, and I kept shifting from hip to hip and my brother was like ”What are you DOING?” and I said ”I’m trying to stretch out my hip flexors, they’re really sore”. and just then I lost my balance and fell over. My brother ”Guess they’re a lot sorer now, huh?” XD
        {Natalie}

        Liked by 1 person

  4. EW DUDE. DUDE DUDE DUDE. dnf City of Brass, plz. for me. plz plz plz.

    also i’m totally going to tbr dear martin.

    also also your blog is just so pretty??

    also also also YOUR WIP. SOUNDS SO GOOD. PETER PAN IS SO INTERESTING BUT GUESS WHAT’S EVEN MORE INTERESTING? YOU AND YOUR RETELLING. I’M EXCITED B/C I’M ASSUMING I’LL REREAD IT SOMEDAY OR THERE IS NO JUSTICE IN THIS WORLD.

    also x4: i hate life slumps. they are the worst. my unsolicited advice: prioritize sleep, do schoolwork right after school (i’m literally your mom), eat yummy things, dnf City of Brass, and read good books. those are some things that have gotten me out of life slumps. also, friends!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. 1) I DNFED DON’T WORRY. 2) why wasn’t it on your tbr in the first place is the real question here. 3) wow thanks means a lot from a person as pretty as you 4) I’LL TELL YOU ON KIK ABOUT IT IF YOU WANT but I’m scared for you to read it bc you hate everything 5) jafdl;skjfalsd WHY ARE YOU SO KIND I love you thank you I will follow your advice and go to sleep now

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Wow, looks like your January was crazy busy! You read so much! I really want to read MOXIE and you seemed to love it so it is next on my list! I enjoyed reading your VERY LONG POST! ahaha
    Ellie xoxo 💕💫🤟🏼

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I feel like we all hate January-s? (is that even a word) (nope) New year, new start, new semester, new EVERYTHING bleh.. I’m definitely no where near being an outstanding remarkable genius, but I know that anxiety is crappy and so are panic attacks. For me, it’s like a life jacket that’s too tight, and I can’t breathe even though I physically can. I don’t know if you’ll find this helpful, but some coping strategies I use are breathing exercises, fidgety rings stuff, listening to music… just a smol advice? I’ve been/am there, and if there’s anything I know, nothing lasts forever. Anxiety will pass. I’m cheering for you 🙂

    So. You’ve read 7 books this month – why are you disappointed – says me who’s an extremely slow reader why?! And can we just take a teeny moment a fangirl over your gorgeous new blog design?? Madeline is so amazing 👏👏👏 I just started to do book reviews and I. don’t. know. how. I am totally lost in the the bookish sea. Congrats on drinking 1 water bottle each day this month!! This has been a goal for me for the past, um year and a half and I’m still no where near?! ooh and I absolutely love your WIP idea I am already so excited 😍

    I am so sorry for this long comment I am so sorry. Pls May ~ remember to take care of YOURSELF too!! ❤ xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I thought I would like January since it meant THE NEW YEAR, fresh start, leave all the bad things behind!!! But apparently, nOPE. And aaahh that is exactly how I feel like. I always feel like I can’t breathe even as I can feel the air coming in and exiting my mouth/nose. And yeah, whenever I get panic attacks, I always try to slow my breathing down, tho when I’m really anxious sometimes they don’t work. Music really helps when I’m anxious! (Except I was listening to music when I got that panic attack… ugh.)

      Ahah, well I usually read like 9 books in a month, and 2 books is a big difference for me! AAHH I’m so happy you like the new design!! 💕 And omg I haven’t been reviewing for long, but I still struggle a lot with writing them?? And HAHAH I didn’t ACTUALLY drink a bottle each day, but it was close enough. 😉 fjsdlkfjsdl I’M SO HAPPY YOU’RE EXCITED FOR MY WIP!!

      Thank you so so much, Kimberly, your words mean so much to me 😭💕

      Liked by 1 person

      1. oh ya anxiety is like ASKLDF if I could have one day with no anxiety at all, then it would be a miracle (which I know will not happen) ehh.. so far I drank 1+ bottle of water in February, so wow I’m actually somewhat hydrated?? and no problem ~ I just wanted to let u know that I’m supporting u ❤

        Liked by 1 person

  7. I’m sorry to hear you’ve been feeling anxious and that this month wasn’t that great for you, it makes me so sad and I wish I could give you all the hugs, love and French pastries to cheer you up or something. I hope that February will be WAY better for you, sending you all the positive vibes and hugs and love!! ❤ ❤
    I think it's GREAT that you have read so many books this month, no reason to be disappointed at alll! Sorry that The City of Brass wasn't that great for you, everyone is praising it and I haven't read it just yet…. I'm a bit sad it didn't meet your expectations, but we can't love everything now, can we. And YAY for Girls Made of Snow and Glass! I also read that one last month and I reaaaally enjoyed the story and characters ❤ ❤
    Sending you all the love and hugs, take care of yourself ❤ ❤ ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aaahhh, Marie!! 😭 I’m feeling so much better now and February is turning out to be better, thankfully! But I’ll take those hugs, love, and French pastries anyways 😉 ❤

      Oh god, I'm still wondering what I missed with The City of Brass?? Everyone seemed to love it and I… did not. I'm so sad aaahh. And omg I'm glad you loved GMOSAG as well!! It was such a great retelling with amazing characters 😍

      I LOVE YOU TOO!! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  8. i see there is NO the seven husbands of evelyn hugo on that book list smh my sister continues to disappoint me

    ALSO SHOUTOUT TO U AND DAD FOR!!! KEEPING ME ALIVE THIS MONTH!!!! YE RT

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I’ve totally had “I feel dead about everything” moods before? Like I think in November I had one too. AND IT SUCKS because your just so tired and things happen but ur just like “eh” because ur so dead and ur minds so foggy and whats the point of thoughts and everything is pointless and uhhhhhh?? okay is this just me.

    I read 6 books this month AND THAT WAS BECAUSE OF CITY OF BRASS. NEXT TIME I AM DNF-ING SOONER IT WAS SO RUBBISH I THOUGHT I WAS GoING TO LOVE IT (and real may said that the Muslim rep wasn’t even there…so like wowoowowoow. WHY DO MUSLIM REP BOOKS ALWAYS DISAPPOINT ME? Saints and Misfits better be good is all i’m saying. And like the one time there is hijabs in fantasy the book is rubbish. WHY!?!)

    DEAR MARTIN!! MOXIE!! GIRLS MADE OF SNOW AND GLASS!! REIGN THE EARTH!! So many good books Im jealous. and yeah I heard that Snow and Glass has a completely different relationship to the f/f we were expecting so??
    OMG, THE FURYBORN PICTURE IS AMAZING?!?!? i love it. And ahhh I wish Sourcebooks shipped to the UK, because then I could’ve requested one 😦 (I remember emailing them about another book and they just gave me an e-copy)

    DNF CITY OF BRASS.

    ughhghghghgh WOW YOU STATS ARE SO GOOD. AND THANKS FOR LINKING TO MY RAMBLING POSTS, much appreciated. I love how you went “OH BOY. SO MANY LIFE THINGS” and then went “oh wow i thought there was more” but it was mostly u dumping your emotions on us!! GOOD LUCK ON DANCE AND SCHOOL AND WRITING!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. god I have those moods SO MANY times??? usually it’s on weekends which is really weird because you’d think I’d be all hyped on the weekend but nope. omg YES like things happen and I get things done but I just feel so “eh” about them and fjsld;fsdlkfjsd

      FJLDSK;JFADS I’M SO ANGRY AT CITY OF BRASS it put me in a slumpish mood and I was just getting out of one aaahhhh. and oh I think Saints and Misfits has good rep based on the ownvoices reviews I read!!!

      okay I thought GMOSAG had a relationship between the stepmother & stepdaughter (without knowing it was stepmother & stepdaughter) and then I realized they were related to each other and I was like ??? but then I figured out the ship pretty easily!! and WHAT’S WITH THE FURYBORN PIC I literally just took a picture of it on top of a blanket in bad lighting with a filter

      (pssst those stats are way better than they usually are) and fjdslkf I thought more life things happened than that but okay

      Liked by 1 person

  10. heyoooo I don’t remember if I commented on your anniversary post but if I didn’t then HAPPY (late) ANNIVERSARY MY DEAR. YOU DESERVE EVERYTHING YOU HAVE ACHIEVED SO FAR AND SO MUCH MORE ❤

    and you’re hating city of brass?????? WHAAAAT??? this is the first time i’m hearing this dhskdjd WHYYYY. so many people are loving the book and been recommending it to me and i was so EXCITED and jealous that all 3 of you (you + ilsa + juls) received it and were gonna br it. i’m sorry that it’s a disappointment thooooo 😦

    AND MAY I’VE BEEN GETTING NEW IDEAS FOR MY FIRSF WIP THAT I STARTED FOR NANO AND I WASN’T GOING TO WRITE THAT ONE BC I WANTED TO WORK ON MY F/F NOVEL BUT NOWWWWW I THINK I’M FINALLY GETTING SOMEWHERe WITH THE WORLDBUILDING AND THE CHARACTERS YAAASSSSSSS

    sorry that January was such a suckery month for you and you had a panic attack???? omg May my baby I hope you’re okay and know that you can always talk to me 💖💖💖

    let’s hope February will be A LOT better for you and I hope you manage to reach all of your goals!!! oh and idk if i said this before but I LUUURRRRV YOUR NEW BLOG DESIGN SO MUCH

    Liked by 1 person

    1. yes you did comment on my anniversary post but THANK U THANK U I LOVE YOOOOOOOU 💖💖💖

      okay I have no idea what happened with City of Brass?? I DNFed and 1-starred it but there are so many glowing reviews for it that I am so CONFUSED. (and omg Ilsa’s so salty esp. since she got a signed ARC)

      FJDSLFJDSLF JACKIE JACKIE U HAVE TO TELL ME ABOUT YOUR WIP WHY DON’T I KNOW ABOUT IT AND UHHHH SMASH BOTH OF THEM TOGETHER TO MAKE AN F/F WHATEVER GENRE YOUR FIRST WIP WAS

      aaaahhhhh yeah January Sucked but I’m feeling much better now and February is looking to be a decent month and yes I will ofc talk to you ❤ I LOVE MY BLOG DESIGN TOO JFSDLKFSD

      Liked by 1 person

      1. damnnn i feel sorry for you both! but it seems that you and me have kinda differing opinions on books so i might like it??? idk i’ll have to see what my other trusted friends say about it

        AND AHHHH I’LL TELL YOU ONCE I HAVE IT ALL FIGURED OUT BC IT’S TOO MUCH OF A MESS RN and i debated making it a f/f but it just works better as a m/f (the characters are queer tho <3)

        Like

  11. I feel you about school 😦 My academy is sucking away my time and I manage to read just five books during January. Plus I just realized that thanks to that I will probably not able to finish my researchs for the deadline I noted for myself, which is June. Too many things for too many characters. I’m totally picking everyone of them and looks at what I should research for them. I miss writing but this can only help me a lot. I will get stuck at my revision for the tenth time.

    I feel you also at sleeping. I really need but I never sleep nine hours. But actually doing once in a while sounds good enough. Yet night seems the only moment when I can manage to read… before falling asleep with the book on my face.

    P.s. No idea about bisexual characters in Furyborn ❤ I'm so happy ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Omg yess!! And like… I’ll be all ready to read 100 pages at night, and then I remember an assignment that’s due the next day and have to do it?? OR I spend all my time doing HW that I have to do blogging stuff at night and then I have no time for reading?? Ugh. And awww I’m so sorry!! I hope you’ll figure everything out soon. ❤

      UGH YES. I NEED nine hours to actually function but I never get it?? And SAME SAME every time I seem to be able to go to bed early, I always want to use it for reading time… 😦

      (No one has been talking about the bi MC in Furyborn but I'm definitely screaming about it now!!!)

      Liked by 1 person

  12. THOSE WRITING SNIPPETS. 👏🏻 I’m sorry your month has been dead (mine was the same in a lot of ways) — I know you’re not a Christian but I’ll keep you in my prayers. ☺️
    Congratulations on your blogaversary! Your blog is so amazing ahsjsj

    Liked by 2 people

  13. Argh I’ve been feeling pretty dead since this year too. Usually I’m really excited for the new year during the first week of January, but this year? I was like, “life sucks what’s even the point of looking forward to anything”. And then I had a MASSIVE flu which was awful 😥 And after that, I just felt totally unmotivated to do anything? It was like I just didn’t CARE about anything. Luckily I’m more or less back on track now!
    Sorry to hear about your anxiety 😔 Hope you start feeling better (and less dead) soon 😊

    Andrea | indigoskysblog.blogspot.com

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s so weird??? I thought January would be amazing since it was the NEW YEAR and all, but apparently it just turned out to be a sucky start to the year… 😭 And omg I’m sorry about the flu!! Hope you’re feeling better. ❤ And yes yes yes! I DID things (kinda), but I literally felt nothing about them. Nor was I motivated to do anything more than those things.

      Thank you so much, Andrea!! ❤

      Like

  14. Omg the new design!! I HAVENT SEEN IT BEFORE BUT OMG I LOVE IT AND I CANT EVEN I ,LOVE THE GREEN LEAVES ON YOUR HEADER AND I CANT EVEN BECAUSE IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL.

    I READ DEAR MARTIN TOO AND OMG I LOVED IT AND YES IT’S SO SO IMPORTANT!! I thought that it was wayyyyy too short too!!

    OHHH I really need to read moxie!!! & Omg congrats on the physical arc!! That’s amazing!! OMG SIX OF CORWSSSSSS. I’M SO GLAD THAT YOU LIKED IT.

    OMG THOSE SNIPPETS *FAINTS* I love them!!!!

    I’m really sorry that you had a really sucky January, and I really hope that you have a better February. Remember that it’s okay to take time off when you’re not feeling 100%, and don’t push yourself if you’re not feeling up to blogging all the time, so that you can focus on school, etc and cope with your anxiety ❤

    AND THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR LINKING TO MY POST ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. AAAHH I’M SO HAPPY YOU LIKE THE NEW DESIGN LUUUUU ❤ and yes Dear Martin was way too short??? I wanted MORE

      Moxie was SO good and I'm super excited for Furyborn!! AAAHH SIX OF CROWS WAS AMAZING I already want to reread it again 😭😭

      fjsldfjdslk I'M SO GLAD U LIKE THE SNIPPETS ❤

      oh my god thank you so much for your words, Lu, they mean so much and they are SO SO true. you make sure to focus on yourself & your health too, okay?? <333

      Liked by 1 person

  15. I also want to start working on a WIP this month. Except it’s a story I wrote in class when I was about 12 years old. It’s set in Britain in a co-ed boarding school. (The heck was I thinking?) But now I’m changing it to a public school because I know waay more about that.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Congratulations on your anniversary!! Also, I’ve said this to you before but I’ll say it again because it’s 100% TRUE – your new design is GORGEOUS. Your new header is soooo pretty and I love the pink watercolour-looking titles! They’re so creative – I’ve never seen anything like them on any blogs before! You go Mango Queen – have a great February, May ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  17. I feel like January is just the month of everyone being dead? Because we were all having such a jolly time being on break for Christmas and then January comes skipping along, dragging a mountain of school and homework behind it and we all simultaneously fall down dead. At least, that’s what I’ve observed.
    I love the poetry snippet about the sharp-heeled boots ❤
    I only read five books this month, but I'm trying to tell myself that it's ok to just chill a little. (Except that I'm not really chilling because the reason I didn't read more books was because school is a ravenous beast who devours all my time. But anyway.)
    By the way, I tagged you for the Rising Author Tag! If you're interested, the details are here: https://allthingstrivialandinsignificant.wordpress.com/2018/02/04/the-rising-author-tag-featuring-shadows-from-my-dark-past/

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Omg yessss! I honestly thought January would be better because NEW YEAR, FRESH START, leave all the bad things behind!! But nope. School started and everything just crashed. 😂

      AAAHH THANK YOOOU 😭😘

      Aagh no, don’t beat yourself up for not reading more books than five! I get sad that I don’t read as much as I want, but I’ve learned that it’s okay to read less than what you normally do, if it means focusing on school & your health. ❤ And omg thank you so much for the nomination!! 😘

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Oh I’m sorry this month was a little dead for you May, I guess the first month of the year can sometimes be a little slump-y can’t it? I’ll be keeping my fingers tightly crossed that next month you’re back to read, back to blogging, and just back to not feeling slump-y! 😀
    I’m also really really sorry you didn’t enjoy The City of Brass, obviously that was one I enjoyed but we can’t all love the same books, and if it was one you were struggling with it was probably best to DNF it than force yourself to read it right? I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed the next book you pick up is a much better read for you.
    I hope you have a great February, and I hope you manage to complete all your goals as well. Also good luck with your WIP, both the one you wrote for NaNo last year and the new idea you have, I’d love to hear more about it! 😀 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aahh thank you so much, Beth!! I’m really hoping that February’s better (so far it is!) because January was not good. (Which I was surprised because you’d think it would be a new year, fresh start, but nope. 😂)

      And ugh, I am SO SO sad I didn’t like City of Brass?? I’m so confused as well — what am I missing from everyone who loved it? 😂 But I’m glad others liked it a lot more than I did!

      THANK YOU SO MUCH BETH!!! And aahh I will definitely share more info about my WIP soon, hopefully. 😄

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That’s all right! 😀 Well good to hear February is going better so far, oh I normally find January is a weird month, things generally start improving once the year gets going.
        It’s a shame but at least you can say you tried it right?
        That’s all right, and I’ll be looking forwards to hearing more about it! 😀

        Liked by 1 person

  19. I hope February is a better month for you!❤️January is always a pretty eh month at least for me, since it’s following holidays and no school and I just don’t feel liked doing anything. Also good luck with all your goals! And omg your new WIP sounds AMAZING!!

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Hi lovely! Even though you might not have felt great about this month, you accomplished SO MUCH STILL and you should be proud, especially considering you weren’t feeling great ❤
    I really really want to read Dear Martin, and also your Peter Pan WIP hahaha
    Wishing you the best for February!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  21. wow you really nailed it with the “feeling dead” mood. ISSA BIG MOOD. i’m falling into the usual midwinter slump with school, blogging, & stuff. school has just been so intense and HARD this whole year, and i’m only a little more than halfway through. and my shin is partially stress-fractured from too much running which super sucks. i so wish i had time to work on a WIP right now!! (maybe during the summer…)

    i’m so sorry that your anxiety was worse this month 😦 i hope february treats you better ❤ (PSST my birthday is in february if that's any consolation loll)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. UGH I FELT SO DEAD. luckily it’s much better in February but I’m still so “uggghhh” over January. and omg I’m so sorry about your shin!! I hope it’ll feel better soon. ❤ and aahh god I barely find the time to work on my WIP the way I want to but I'm slowly making my way through it 😂

      THANK YOOOOU ❤ (and omg happy early birthday!!!! 💖💖)

      Like

  22. I’m so sorry that January hasn’t been great for you :/ I pretty much felt the same, I had the first week off university and then everything started going downhill ugh! I have gladly finished my semester so I send you all the good vibes and strength for your semester and hope that it’s at least a tiny bit better than in January ♥

    Oh wow, I’m sorry that City of Brass has been ruining your reading a bit :/ I had the same with another book last year, where it took me ages to finish it and spoiled my entire reading month. But once you’re done with the book and have written a Review, you’ll hopefully read another book that you end up loving 🙂

    OMG Congrats on getting your first physical Arc, that’s totally amazing – I’m so happy for your! 😍🎉
    And gosh these snippets, they sound so good, I’m so excited you have fallen in love with this new WIP idea 😱

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Agh yes!! January started out great, but as soon as I went back to school… 😨 And aahh congrats on finishing the semester!! My semester finished before the winter break but I’ve got another one to go. 😣 THANK YOU, and good vibes to you as well! 💖

      Uuugghhh there are just those books that ruin it all for you!! I think I just generally have a problem with thick books, high fantasy books, and historical (fantasy) in general. (City of Brass was all three. 😅)

      Aaahh thank you so much!! This is actually my fourth ARC but I’m still VERY EXCITED. 😍 And dkdkfksn I’m so happy you like my snippets!! 😭💕

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Going back to school always catches me off guard after Christmas break 😫 Thank you! I’m still anxiously working on my papers, but at least I don’t have classes any longer. I’m wishing you all the best luck for the semester! Thank you right back, good vibes are always needed 💕💕

        Oh that’s really unfortunate 😮

        ARC’s are always very exciting, I don’t think the excitement ever fades 😀 They were great 💕💕

        Liked by 1 person

  23. ahhh thank you so much for the shoutout!! I’m very proud of that post and I’m so happy it resonated with so many ❤

    ALSO I can't wait to BR furyborn with you 🙂 I hope you've been having a wonderful February so far!

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Yes, I just read your January wrap-up at the end of February – don’t judge I’m behind on some of your posts. Ahhh Furyborn!! I just got accepted for an ARC on Netgalley for that today! Have you started it? I legit thought you were giving one of your posts a shoutout in posts you loved because her name is May too haha. Good luck with your dance and school and MAY – DRINK MORE WATER!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Omg don’t worry about being behind on posts, I definitely am too. 😂 And well, you know I finished Furyborn recently and it wasn’t QUITE what I was hoping it’d be… but hopefully you like it?? THANK YOU SO MUCH and gjal;kdfjas;d but my water bottle is so far awaaaaaay 😂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Haha yeah – i’ve been super nervous about it recently because you and at least one other blogger i follow didn’t like it much. Lame excuse! Strap it to yourself or something or get one of those hats with the straws!!

        Like

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