Hi… I’m Back?? (A Recap on Everything that Happened While I Was Hiding From Everyone)

Hi… I guess I’m back??

I thought I was going to be back when I posted my review for The Fever King but apparently life had other plans and loves to hold me captive!

A Lot of things have happened since I last posted a monthly wrap-up (for… January??), so I decided to just write a neat little recap of everything that happened while I was gone as an update post, since there are a lot of things I want to talk about!

Unfortunately, I did not do the blog-hopping and comment-replying I really hoped to get done during my hiatus (you’ll see why), but I feel a lot more refreshed from this break and hopefully you’ll see more of that for the rest of this month!!

mmm reading

Lore Olympus  Heir's Game  Mage & Demon Queen

The Weight of Our Sky  King of Scars (Nikolai Duology, #1)  The Weight of the Stars

In February, I read 6 books: Lore Olympus, The Weight of Our Sky, King of Scars, Heir’s Game, Mage & Demon Queen, and The Weight of the Stars.

3 of these were actual novels and 3 were webcomics, so I guess it was better than January with 4 books (novels)??? Most were 4 to 4.5 stars, except for Mage & Demon Queen, which was just… a very wild experience let me say.

I want to point out King of Scars, though, since I have STRONG feelings about it: It was super enjoyable for me and I really loved reading it… but it would’ve been 5 stars if not for that ending!!! It’s only a half star off, but the ending annoys me to no end and I hate it, and while I know Leigh will do something amazing with it, just… WHY.

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe (Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe, #1)  The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo  The Song of Achilles

The Foxhole Court (All for the Game, #1)  The Raven King (All for the Game, #2)   The King's Men (All for the Game, #3)

So far in March, I’ve read 6 books, and they’ve all been rereads and full-length novels: Aristotle and Dante, The Seven Husbands of Evelyn HugoThe Song of AchillesThe Foxhole CourtThe Raven King, and The King’s Men. These are all huge, heartbreaking gay favorites of mine and it has hurt so much to reread them (but it’s worth it!!).

All of these are 5 stars, of course, besides the All for the Game trilogy (4, 4.25, and 4.5, respectively). I honestly made a huge mistake rereading the AFTG series, since I knew that it would put me in a hangover and I’m already currently in a slump, but it’s okay!! I’ve dealt with this before!!! It can’t kill me!!!!

I don’t know what other books I’ll read before the end of the month, but it might include some Heroes of Olympus books that I’m rereading with this recycling sign. I don’t know how I’ll handle rereading these knowing what happens in The Burning Maze, but it’s fine!! I’m forcing Prag to be my emotional support friend!!!

(I’m secretly hoping to read 9 or 10 books by the end of March but now that I’ve said it out loud I’ve probably jinxed it.)

mmm blogging

Okay, I’m going to be very very honest with all of you: multiple times during my break, I was dreading returning to blogging, dreading replying to comments, dreading commenting on blog posts. It was my fear come to life, the paranoia that once I took a break from blogging I would never return, which my mind fought with because how could I possibly not keep doing something I loved?

Luckily, that dread has strangely disappeared for now, and I’m really excited to be back! I don’t know if it’s just because I love writing wrap-ups and that’s what’s currently keeping me motivated, or if it’s just a one day thing before I go back to dreading everything, but I’m taking it one day at a time.

And I’m making myself a promise from now on: Whenever I see comments pop up in my notifications and I read them, I’ll reply to them. It’s so weird that I’ve come to this point, but an anxious part of me keeps telling me that replying immediately makes you all judge me. Which is just dumb and my anxiety speaking, but I’ve been struggling with it for a year now and it’s something I want to work to overcome!!

Anyways, pretty much nothing happened blogging-wise (I never opened WordPress once while on my ski trip), but I’m determined to make something happen for the rest of this month. I’m going back to school today, which means limited time again, but I really do promise to try!

mmm writing

…I don’t want to talk about it.

mmm life

So many life things have happened recently, and I don’t particularly remember them in chronological order, so here’s just a list of things that have happened while I was gone!

  • First off, I got the flu (or a very severe cold, we’re not sure which) that had me bedridden for like four days, and I missed a lot of school and schoolwork because of that!! This was at the beginning of March, when I was hoping to come back from my blogging break, but that + all the work I had to make up for school kept me super busy.
  • I also went skiing over spring break (which was this past week for me), and it was a lot of fun! Memorable events include me faceplanting into the snow on only my second run, losing my ski while getting on the ski lift, and having to abandon the car and take shelter under an overpass on our ride back because of an extreme tornado warning!!

 

  • And on to the whole reason I took this break: mental health, which did Not get better during my hiatus, because of course, my brain loves to be uncooperative! Breakdown-wise, I had a breakdown at school over one (1) math quiz question I couldn’t do, and I had a Very Big Breakdown in front of my mom at home. In general, I think my depression is getting worse!
  • [TW: suicide] || A few weeks ago, I also received the news that one of my old teachers had died by suicide, which messed with my mental health even more and pushed back my return to blogging. (I’m doing okay now for those wondering!)
  • Luckily, after my ski trip, I’m feeling a lot better and more relaxed and less breakdown-y. It probably won’t last when I go back to school tomorrow, but I’m hoping that my horrible past quarter will motivate me to actually Change My Habits for the last quarter of school!!

shall we chat

how have you all been? any good heartbreaking gay books you’ve read recently to add to my streak?? link me to any blog posts of yours that I missed and you want me to read!

blog signoff

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55 thoughts on “Hi… I’m Back?? (A Recap on Everything that Happened While I Was Hiding From Everyone)

  1. I feel like I’ve read nothing sufficiently gay this year 😔, but I’m currently reading Girls of Paper & Fire to try and change that! I’m so happy to finally have summer (it’s summer where I love haha), because I barely got sleep during school year and I always woke up stressed. But the sad thing is that I leave for a two month study tour in a week, and I’m trying to pre write lots of blog posts (I take hours to write blog posts lmao), but I’m going at a much slower pace than I want to :((. Anyways, I’m just so happy to be able to sleep finally and not have to worry about homework

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I’m so sorry you had a rough month, but hopefully things will get better now 🙂 I’ve also been struggling with my mental health, and it’s only getting worse as the semester drags on… and because of that, I didn’t read, write, or blog very much either.

    Oh well! I hope things will get better soon! If not, I can always wait until the summer! 😂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m very sorry to hear that you’ve been struggling and also I’m so sorry to hear about your old teacher. I hope you’re in a better place at the moment with mental health. Do what you need to do but it’s good to have you back 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I missed you bucketloads and I’m so happy that you’re back. Sucks to know you’ve had such a rough month, I hope things get better💙 Funnily enough I have the flu and I’m writing finals in a week, going into hiding souns great right now.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m so happy to see you’re doing well now! I hope everything gets back on track soon ^^
    Is Lore Olympus finished already? I keep forgetting I have to update my reading weekly haha I’ve also read The Weight of the Stars last month but did not enjoy very much tbh The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo and The Song of Achilles are awesome, I wish I could forget about them and re read them!!
    Those pics are lovely!! I’ve never tried to ski but honestly, I bet I’d fall in 5 secs haha

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aahh thank you Marta! I think Lore Olympus is unfinished (and probably will be for a long time haha)! And oh I’m sorry you didn’t love The Weight of the Stars but yes, Evelyn Hugo and TSOA are SO good ☺💕 And skiing is not super hard once you get the basics — just kind of terrifying!!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I’m so sorry it’s been a couple tough months for you, May, love, know that I’m always here if you ever need or want to talk or just rant about anything, always. ❤ I'm glad that you are feeling a little better now and I hope that you'll keep on feeling better and better, sending you tons of love ❤ ❤
    On blogging, definitely take it one day at a time, at the rhythm that you prefer and how you prefer to do it all, too. Follow what seems right for you to do and I would never judge you for when you answer your comments at all ❤
    Sending you tons of love xx

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Oh May, I’m so sorry to hear you are struggling. Please be kind to yourself, and remember that you don’t owe your blog readers anything! If you don’t want to reply to comments, or you want to take a break, that is ABSOLUTELY FINE. Us bloggers are too hard on ourselves.

    Sending good thoughts you way for April!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. March was a low month for me too…I’m so glad to hear you’re feeling better. I was thinking I must be low on vitamin D (it’s been a long winter in Ontario, Canada) so I’ve been getting out for walks in the sun and that’s helped a lot 🙂 I read What If It’s Us last week, have you read it?

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I mean I finally read GoPaF so are you proud? I really enjoyed reading this and it absolutely sucks about your teacher :/ also man I relate about the flu/whatever it is bc I missed a week of school for the same reason and it’s actually crap urgh but I hope things get better for you soon and welcome back ❤

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Most people who love AFTG seem to be ok with the content in CP. I don’t know anyone who hasn’t loved them both. It depends on what trigger warnings don’t appeal to you. If there’s something you’re dead against let me know and I’ll tell you if it’s in CP. 😘

        Like

  10. May, I’m sorry to hear that the past weeks have been so hard on you. I am sending you a lot of positive vibes so you can feel better soon! 💞
    I’d really die for a vacation or spring break recently, not gonna lie. It’s not that I’m feeling burn out, but I feel like it’s been forever since I visited a new place and created new memories, and I think that can be truly refreshing. Plus, it kicks me right in a more inspired mood everytime I get back from a trip or nice day. I hope that now you’re back from skiing, you’ll start to feel more inspired to write & blog and feel better too!
    Re-reading favorites always helps, that’s for sure! I do hope you enjoy your re-reading of Heroes of Olympus if you get around to it!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aw, thank you so much, Lais! 💓💓

      Oh, I hope you’re able to take a trip / go on vacation soon! I definitely agree — I thought I would rather have stayed home the entire week but it was so refreshing and fun to go somewhere else ☺ And thank you lovely! I hope whatever book you’re reading currently is a good one ☺💕

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Aahh you’re back!!! I’m so sorry to hear that the last few months have been hard – if you ever need to chat I’m here. 💖 I too have been struggling with a lot of anxiety and stress lately so anybody feel like skipping march? Thank god I have school holidays soon 😂
    I will be thinking of you and I’m so happy you’re back – reading your posts always brightens up my day. Sending bucketloads of love from Australia xxxx
    p.s. you may not have time and you may not want to but I would love for you to check out my post I did on books that mean a lot to me – many are heartbreaking and gay, so you may find some recs? https://marshmallowharmonies.wordpress.com/2019/03/23/seven-books-moments-that-i-love-more-than-waffles-ft-love-letters-to-books-ive-already-talked-way-too-much-about/ (the link should have been shortened but too late now)
    Rhi xxxxx 😊💖

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aww, Rhi, thank you so so much!! You are absolutely the sweetest 💓💓 And oh I hope your anxiety and stress lessens, I know how horrible it feelsto have all that weighing down on you 💕

      Aahh so glad I can help cheer you up!! I’m so glad to be back ☺ (And yes, I read that post of yours! Thanks so much for reminding me to comment 💖)

      Liked by 1 person

  12. May!! Welcome back!✨I’m so sorry that your last couple of months haven’t been the best, I hope the rest of your March and the months to come are better.❤️Sending you positive vibes, and I’m always here for you if you ever need anything! *hugs you*
    Eep, a Heroes of Olympus reread! I adore all things Percy Jackson. Oh my gosh, I saw a spoiler for what happened in The Burning Maze, and…NO. I’m taking on the mindset that if I never read The Burning Maze it never happens…right??

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much Olivia!! I’m so glad & excited to be back ☺💕 So far I am feeling a whole lot better than before so I’m hoping it stays that way for a while!

      And agh I’m so sorry you were spoiled! I avoided spoilers right until I started the book 😅🙄 But yes if you didn’t read it, it never happened!!!

      Liked by 1 person

  13. welcome back may!!! i hope u feel better soon. i will personally fight your depression because it sounds as if it is being VERY RUDE AND MEAN.

    ok i love mage and the demon queen but i think it’s because it’s one of the first webcomics i read. but the plot?? honestly idrk what’s going on im just here for the gay shit lol. if u r looking for another webcomic i highly recommend always human, which follows sapphic gfs and talks about the intricacies of relationships. i hope ur having a great day! 💛💛

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much Zoe!! Overall I’m feeling a lot better (probably since I know school is almost over haha!)

      For some reason I just get super uncomfortable reading manga or anime-style-drawn things? I have no idea why and it’s still something I’m trying to understand as an Asian person haha. And yes I’ve read and loved Always Human, it’s so soft and gorgeous and beautiful!

      Liked by 1 person

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