May’s Moments of the Month: February // I Was Sad but at Least I Read Some Books??

yay i’m attempting to be a blogger again!!

(i was supposed to post something else before this but. too late now)

monthly wrap-ups are probably the only thing i’ll consistently post, because i really love writing them and talking about myself for an ungodly amount of words, so today i’m here to tell you how my february was.

expect copious amounts of criminal minds references and me being unable to shut up about being sad!

mmm reading

i read 6 books, and i’m not happy but not sad with that number. i actually started out really great but then hit The Week (Sad Week) and it all plummeted. either my ARCs aren’t amazing or i’m getting more critical, because my ratings are a bit… lower this month.

Belle Révolte  The Electric Heir (Feverwake #2)  What I Like About You  In Other Lands  Lucky Caller  Tweet Cute

  • Belle Révolte Linsey Miller // started off badly but it got better for me. still, it didn’t stand out to me and was also irritating multiple times throughout ★★★☆☆
  • The Electric Heir Victoria Lee // if i think about this for too long my heart starts to feel like it’s ripping. but it was a very good conclusion and i love domestic life noam x dara <33 ★★★★☆
  • What I Like About You Marisa Kanter // one on hand it was a fun and mostly cute contemporary! on the other hand i was annoyed by communication issues ★★★☆☆ [3.5]
  • In Other Lands Sarah Rees Brennan // THIS WAS SO GOOD! i loved the characters, the world, the story… everything. and i ADORE elliot and he’s probably one of the funniest/cleverest characters i’ve read ★★★★☆ [4.5 maybe?]
  • Lucky Caller Emma Mills // unfortunately… i didn’t enjoy this as much as i was hoping. while i enjoyed it, it just didn’t feel like a very strong emma mills book ★★★☆☆ [3.5]
  • Tweet Cute Emma Lord // i needed something addictive and fun to read, and this was it! i read it in a day! there were some things i didn’t Love but overall i had a good time reading it ★★★★☆

library haul

i got some fun and fresh books from the library in february!! i already read lucky caller, and also a bit of both the dragon republic and loveboat, taipei. i’m very excited to read them (though i’m scared i’ll hate loveboat, taipei), and i also wanted to feature my new bookstagram look, because i decided to do whatever i want on that platform and i’m enjoying it more!!

mmm blogging

whoops, looks like i dropped the ball on blogging again!

(is that the right expression. i feel like it’s right but it looks wrong.)

book recs sadas i made obvious in my book recs for when you’re sad post, i was sad (and i guess i still am) during february and that impacted my blogging. i could barely muster up the energy to look at anything in the online book community (goodreads, insta, etc).

i hate that it happened, because i actually had posts planned that i was excited about, and now i have a backlog of reviews to post—i know everyone hates book reviews but sorry, you’re getting 3 arc reviews this month!—and a whole lot of feeling bad.

i’m not trying to beat myself up over it, because i think i would have suffered a lot more had i forced myself to blog. and as you all have so kindly told me, i deserve to take breaks even if i have already taken so many and this is my blog so i can do whatever i want or need to do! and i’m not making any promises again about improving, because i can’t promise it right now. but i will say i have some posts written and it’s 2 am meaning prime time for me to get hit with blogging motivation so. for the moment i’m trying my best. <33

mmm writing

  • i wrote 3 poems! which isn’t 5, and they were all when i was Really sad so therefore i can’t look at them without wanting to cry (from the cringe), but it’s better than my one (1) poem in january.
  • and i actually started… plotting more things for a new WIP? yes i have commitment issues with WIPs, but my last one wasn’t even that good so is abandoning it for a better one such a bad thing??
  • however the issue with this New One is that it’s less fantastical than what i’ve done and more thriller. i’m terrible with plot, so i’m going to be even worse at this plot because it involves having to actually Know what’s happening and make it a mystery!!!

mmm life

  • my mental health went whoosh! and by whoosh, i mean DOWN! i don’t know what happened, but it just feels like a sadness is always lingering over me no matter what i do. sometimes i don’t feel it, like whenever i’m dancing or watching tv, but then whenever i stop and don’t do anything, it all just comes back.
  • it’s not always like an “oh i’m so miserable i just want to cry all day” kind of sadness, though sometimes it is. a lot of the time it’s an “oh existing on this earth is so hard and i just want to sleep forever” kind of tired-sadness. but no matter what, it’s exhausting and disabling and i HATE it.

Image result for criminal minds

  • but!!! i started watching criminal minds, and it’s officially my latest obsession and my current mode of Distraction From The Sadness. i will be back to regular programming of irritating you all about miraculous ladybug after i finish watching all 12 season on netflix. (currently on season 3 and very paranoid about every single time i’m alone in my house.)
  • there was also a week where i had almost no homework, but oh so coincidentally that was the Sad Week. so the universe basically hates me, because when i have homework to work on i’m stressed and want to die, but when i don’t have homework to distract me i’m sad and want to die!!
  • (sharing that story just because i have nothing else to talk about for this section.)

mmm old goals

(I didn’t have an actual wrap-up for December, so I didn’t make any goals except for these small non-blogging ones)

  • read 9 books (i read 2/3 of that)
  • post 5 times
  • write 5 poems (i don’t get why this is so hard for me but oh well)
  • start (re)plotting WIP? (i actually kind of did this! the re-plotting part is out now because i’ve started a new WIP due to commitment issues)
  • answer some comments!! comment on blogs!!!
  • do driver’s ed stuff (I have a valid excuse for not getting my driving hours, and that is: the car doesn’t work)

mmm new goals

  • read 9 (10?) books (I HAVE SPRING BREAK! and March last year was my rereading month so it might be the same again…)
  • post 5 times (I HAVE SPRING BREAK!)
  • answer some comments!! comment on blogs!!! (I HAVE SPRING BREAK!)
  • write 5 poems
  • keep plotting WIP (it’s terrible so far but also so much fun)
  • do driver’s ed stuff
  • don’t watch past s7 of CM (it’s not good that i watched like fifty 40 min-long episodes in 2 weeks so i need to pace Myself)

mmm looking ahead

spring break!!! i am beyond excited to escape this hellhole for a week, even though i will get very sad again, both during it and after it’s over. (my brain is weird! why am i sad during school breaks? we have no clue.) i’m hoping it means more blogging and reading, and not nine hours of criminal minds. i will be rereading ari and dante and i can’t wait to cry for three hours.

dance show! it’s gonna be my first time actually Performing my solo and i’m very nervous!! but i love all (or… most) of the dances i’m in this year and i’m excited to perform them. it’s always a bittersweet occasion, and luckily the tears for our departing seniors are saved for recital in may, but i’m looking forward to it.

being s*cial… EW i know. i can’t believe those words are coming out of my mouth. but i have plans to get together with friends already, and even though hanging out with them drains me like the introvert i am, it also makes me really happy. and i need that serotonin boost!! (and they will keep me from watching too much criminal minds.)


shall we chat

how was your february? do you watch… criminal minds? (idk why i can’t stop watching) how many books have you read so far? how do you deal with sadness? i hope you’re all doing well!!!

blog signoff

43 thoughts on “May’s Moments of the Month: February // I Was Sad but at Least I Read Some Books??

  1. i definitely understand the tired-sadness kind of thing. i feel like i’m stuck on a loop with that feeling. just groundhog day levels of repetition of the same lingering tired and exhausted energy. constantly. it’s a struggle!! and i feel you!! and like you can already guess from that, i don’t really ‘deal’ with sadness. i just try to not let me knock me down TOO much – i force myself to do baby steps (like today i made real FOOD for myself instead of junk food and washed some clothes). i hope you’ll find some more good alternatives for yourself! ❤ PS: i really really really need to read IN OTHER LANDS soonish because i have a feeling that it's a very feel-good book with lots of funny one-liners lol and that sounds like music to my ears! c: PSS: i love criminal minds!! there are so many good episodes in that series. i love reid and jj and garcia and everyone, really. season 3 is very good and has a super thrilling season finale if i remember correctly?? have fun with that show! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. i try to take baby steps as well! this is one of them right now actually, haha — replying to comments because i want to do something for blogging but not being able to actually write a post ☺ and i know it’s like a week after you commented about making real food, but i’m proud of you for that!! 💓

      i think you’d LOVE in other lands! it really is super funny (definitely among the top funniest books i’ve read). and yes i just watched the season 3 finale and started season 4 today! i’m so stressed out about hotch lmao 😭

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  2. Aw, I hope your mental health takes an upswing soon. It can be really hard sometimes 💙

    Also, when you talked about being scared to look at your own writing, I felt that in my soul. I get that feeling ALL the time XD

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I just want to say that the fact that you continue to make an effort to blog, even when you don’t feel like it, is truly inspirational. It takes a lot of strength to press on in spite of pain and I admire you for that 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Criminal minds sounds right up my alley so maybe I’ll watch it sometime but wow fourteen seasons… Sucks that you felt sad a lot in February but sending you lots of love ❤ hmm I have lots of different ways of coping depending on what kind of sad I guess? Like if I'm just feeling a bit disheartened/blue (I tend to nickname this saturday night blues since it's the time it happens the most often for whatever reason) I'll usually just listen to some upbeat music (stages — Cassadee Pope, my therapy album), or take the playlist out of my control by turning on the radio (when it's not all rap that is). Otherwise sometimes just writing and trying to analyse my feelings? And then there's all the times I suck at dealing with it but yeah I guess experimentation and seeing what works gets you there in the end. I hope you meet all your March goals and have an awesome month!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. yes it drags on for a while!! it’s great if you love it (and i do) but i’m predicting at one point it’ll get a bit repetitive haha. and yes, music is such a great way to cope! just earlier today i felt like crying but opened up spotify and started playing music (and reading) instead <33 but thank you so so much cas, your words and support mean the world to me!!! 💖

      Liked by 1 person

  5. May is writing all her posts in lowercase now 😲 we stan an all lowercase icon, haha! But anyways, I super relate to being sad and stressed all the time. That’s literally me. But I hope things get better for the both of us! And I hope that you can catch up with your reading challenge soon! Six books in a month is a great amount already though!
    I’m so excited to read The Electric Heir, even though I’m Very scared based on what I’ve heard from other people about it being heartbreaking. Also, I’m currently reading Tweet Cute, and just like the title suggests, it’s literally SO CUTE, and I will never be sad again in my entire life if I get to try every food they mention in the book, and that is a threat,

    Liked by 1 person

    1. haha!! honestly it feels very freeing to write in lowercase? it sounds so minor and stupid but in a way it represents me trying to give myself more freedom in blogging instead of beating myself up constantly 😭 thank you! i’m still sorely behind on reading but i’m telling myself SPRING BREAK!! over and over again lmao

      okay if we are being honest, the electric heir didn’t FEEL super heartbreaking because of the good way it ended, but there are definitely some scenes that are intense and/or sad :(( but it’s super good and i hope you love it!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. “there was also a week where i had almost no homework, but oh so coincidentally that was the Sad Week. so the universe basically hates me, because when i have homework to work on i’m stressed and want to die, but when i don’t have homework to distract me i’m sad and want to die!!” why!is!this!so!accurate!? i hope march brings you happiness💕

    Liked by 1 person

      1. exactly! it’s like i’m not fine but i’ll survive because i don’t have time to think about how not fine i am because school. thanks so much sweets x

        Liked by 1 person

  7. I really hope that March will be better for you and brings on brighter days and chase the sadness away. I’m always here if you need anything. ❤
    The Electric Heir, I'm just… shook, like, emotionally shook by this read. It was SO GOOD and also I'm SHOOK like wow. I can't wait to read What I Like About You, I'm a little sad some aspects of it disappointed you overall, but I'm glad it's still an okay read!
    SO HAPPY about your progress on writing! You should focus on what inspires you the most, to bring on that happy writing feeling back. This is all that matters ❤ ❤
    I hope you'll have a beautiful March ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. ahh MARIE!! thank you so much, i love you and your support endlessly 💕 and yes teh was absolutely AMAZING!! i can’t get over how much i love the ending too 😭😭 and i hope you enjoy what i like about you! it’s definitely a fun contemporary overall, i just had a few annoyances haha

      and YOU’RE MAKING ME CRY stop it 🥺🥺 it means everything to have you say such supportive things about my writing aaah. i hope march is as kind to you as you are to me 💓💓

      Liked by 1 person

  8. 1) send me your poetry PLEASE just one so i can scream about it.
    2) https://pics.me.me/spare-serotonin-re-serotonin-ma-am-2meirl4meirl-38231161.png –> you hanging out with ur friends
    3)“oh existing on this earth is so hard and i just want to sleep forever” kind of tired-sadness –> fucking relatable mate, and i would like to say hang in there!! you will get through this and this like FOG will lift soon! ik it sounds cringey but u gotta hold on to hope dude 😦 (love u SO MUCH!!!)
    4) YO DO YOU HAVE SPRING BREAK? I DONT THINK U MENTIONED IT

    Liked by 1 person

    1. 1) okay i haven’t touched my poetry in like weeks AND it’s also so emo and cringy and terrible
      2) I HATE U SO MUUUUCH that is literally me :(( ur the worst :((((
      3) aahh thank you endlessly i love u so much contrary to all my previous statements!! i’m very sad to hear that my experience is relatable to you and i will also tell you that things will get better and you will get through all the terrible stuff goin on!!

      Liked by 1 person

  9. I’m sending love and hugs on your way! Hopefully, March will be better ❤
    I was planning big things for March but with the way Portugal is handling the virus, it probably won't be that good anyway. My spring break is just supposed to happen in April, but I've heard they're thinking about doing it now. I really don't want that, but with the number of affected people we've had in my city, I wouldn't mind having online classes, … I would have so much free time from not having to take transports to the city centre (more reading and blogging!!).
    Enjoy your month!! ^^

    Liked by 1 person

    1. thank you so much, marta!! i hope your march is treating you well 💖

      yeah, it’s getting pretty wild with the coronavirus! a few weeks ago i definitely wouldn’t have expected things would escalate to this point. i’m lucky that i don’t have any infected people in my city yet (not that i know of) but i do live by my state’s capital and their number of cases is growing :/ but yes i’m moving to online classes and i’m very excited! i think it’ll be a fun experience haha

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I definitely wouldn’t have thought it’d come to this, honestly. My classes were suspended (my language teachers have been assigning us homework; I think I’ll have online classes for my marketing suject, starting next week) and I’ve been doing my internship work from home. National emergency status has been declared, even though we have yet to know exactly what that means (it’ll be said tonight). I hope things will remain okay near you! Stay safe ❤

        Liked by 1 person

  10. Aaaah, spring break!! I hope that your March is going well despite all the craziness going on right now! ❤❤ I’m sorry that you had such a rough February, and I hope that your March has been going better!

    The Electric Heir has domestic Noam and Dara?? Gah, my heart will not be able to take it!! Also, I’m one of the blogging weirdos who actually enjoys reading reviews, so come at me with those arc reviews 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. thank you chana!! it actually is going pretty well — spring break has been amazing so far, i just gotta stay vigilant/healthy and try not to think too much about all the covid-19 stuff. i hope your march has been treating you well too!! 💓

      and YES IT DOES!! i won’t say when, but… it definitely exists 🥺🥺 and omg it means the world to me to hear that you enjoy reading reviews (even though i know you mean them in general haha)! i feel like almost everyone hates them but i also kinda love them too 💕

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  11. hey girl 🙂 glad to see that this blog is still here and thriving every time i come to visit (if you still remember me, of course). i have been watching criminal minds since the SIXTH grade i have not managed to finish it (im somewhere around season 7 now i think?) because i get really scared to be alone in rooms so i need to take a break to watch something lighter, then those breaks end up lasting like a year lmao.
    if you’re on spring break right now, i hope its given you a chance to de-stress and become happier, and at the very least, i hope you’re staying safe in the midst of this corona craziness. i especially hope you haven’t been victim to any of the disgusting racism circling around to asian americans. its terrible
    i don’t know if you knew this, but i was very sad around the time we first met (seventh grade). its part of the reason why i took up blogging. this is the cheesiest thing ever, but with time and love, it gets better, truly.
    this is really long but i mostly just hope you’re well ❤ keep doing great things

    Liked by 1 person

    1. of course i still remember you!!! i hope you’re doing well 💕 and aahh i just started s7 today! i definitely have to watch it in my big open living room otherwise i’d get too creeped out i’m already paranoid sitting here with my back to the rest of my bedroom haha)

      thank you!! i’m on extended spring break rn, but it honestly will feel like a break even with online classes starting next week for me. and luckily i haven’t gone out in a while, even before the closures and everything, so i haven’t faced any harassment! ❤

      ah i'm so glad blogging helped you a little bit with your sadness 🥺 i'm actually doing really well right now — today was a bit off for me compared to the previous days but i'm hoping it won't repeat 🥰

      i hope you're holding up okay, and i'm so happy to hear from you!!!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. i just got to season 9! such a binge and i just checked to make sure my blinds were close lol.
        how did online classes go for you this week? I have a lot of free time opened up so im trying to think of things i can do to better myself/my life that i didn’t have time for before (i was SO busy and overworked)
        im glad nobody has given you any trouble!
        im glad yoouve been doing well, i hope this trend continues 🙂 ❤

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