The Illusion of a “Perfect Life” in the Online World & the Pressure to Appear “Perfect” Online // Taking a Weird Break??

No one is perfect.

I know that’s really obvious!! And you’ve probably heard it a thousand times in consoling tones when you make a grievous mistake, or when you’re trying to reassure yourself about other people doing stupid things.

But I feel like there’s often a certain pressure to be perfect, or a perception that we are in the online world, and we forget that we, nor others, are NOT perfect.

This is something I’ve been thinking about for some time now, because of things that I’ve noticed in the behavior of myself and others. And I’ve also noticed some negative effects as well, so that’s why I decided to talk about it today!!!

fae divider (2)

THE ILLUSION

I feel like a lot of the time, we have certain people online that we idolize.

I definitely have people that I look up to, whether it be bloggers or reviewers or authors or Youtubers. It may not be even like “I WANT TO BE THEM” and more of “omg they’re so good at what they do”.

And I feel like, when we reach that certain point of “idolization”, we kind of forget that those people… are human?? We built up these versions of them in our mind, and they’re pretty much perfect versions with perfect lives.

Often, that’s because that’s what they let us see!! And it’s not that they want to “appear perfect” (or maybe they do), more like they just don’t want to share the messier parts of their life or who they are. And that’s fine!!! And it’s just as fine if they share those messier parts!*

Image result for messy life gif
me thinking about talking about how messy my life is

But when it starts to go into “wow, they’re perfect at everything, they have a perfect life” territory, I think THAT’S where it gets to the bad effects. BecauseΒ 1) you kind of project this perception of this person ONTO them (more on that later), andΒ 2) you forget that NO ONE is perfect.

Or!! We think of one person in a very specific way (ie. extremely funny). And we forget that they’re not always like that!!!

I honestly don’t know where I’m going with this, but I think that habitually, we all construct a certain version of a person in our mind when we look up to them, and it’s often a flawless version.

*I am actually very much in awe of these people for being able to talk about the not-so good things in their life, because I suffer from something called insecurity!!! (It’s very fun.)

fae divider (2)

THE PRESSURE

Because of others’ “versions” of me, I often feel kind of pressured to appear that way.

And it may not be the same for others?? Maybe you are just super confident in yourself and are able to show both the good, the meh, and the bad parts of you and your life, or the different parts of you that no one really expects. But it’s more likely that you AREN’T, because we’re human and we doubt ourselves.

I feel like others’ perceptions of us really impact how we act or how we express ourselves; it’s like their version of us is subconsciously projected onto us.

For example, I’ve had people tell me I’m funny or hilarious or make them laugh. (To which I say: THANK YOU because that’s exactly what I’m trying to do.) So I often feel a bit pressured to be funny and hilarious and make jokes. That’s not a bad thing, to me!! I like making people laugh!!! Humor is so important when we live in a world full of depressing things.

But if I’m NOT funny, I feel bad. It’s like I’m letting people down. For example, in a lot of my discussion posts (such as this one), I take on a more serious tone, and I noticed that in the past, I say “sorry” for that.

But… there’s no reason to?? Being serious is just another side of me that people don’t usually see in my posts, so they don’t expect it from me. It’s just for some reason that I feel bad for that.

Image result for confused nick gif
me @ myself constantly

Basically: Because people think of me in a certain way, I feel pressured to always fulfill that expectation, and if I don’t, then I’m doing something wrong.

And it can be extremely harmful to someone to feel like they have to live up to a certain image, therefore not being genuine or “completely themselves”!!! It’s the exact opposite of the advice we give to new bloggers: Be yourself, but be the you that others expect to see.

fae divider (2)

THE BREAK

I honestly wasn’t planning on taking a break when I thought of this post, but I guess it fits???

Right now, my life really isn’t “perfect”. I’m struggling a lot with my mental healthβ€”I have been since the beginning of January, but it got worse last week. (But I’m feeling a bit better now that I’ve been super aware of my thoughts!!) And instead of trying to push through like I did in January, I’ve decided to just take a short break-ish.

It’s honestly not that much of a break?? It’s more like… a random posting schedule for March. No Wednesday- or Saturday-scheduled posts, just posts whenever I’m up to it. I’m hoping this will only last March, but if it needs to carry into April, I’m fine with it. Health ALWAYS comes first, which is what I tell others but not myself!!!

And also, I’m running out of post ideas. How did Past Me do this, I SWEAR.

Image result for fake smile gif

I really feel like blogging takes up a lot of my time that I could be using to do relaxing things, and often has some negative effects on me. Taking a step back from it will hopefully help a lot!! Plus the strict blogging schedule used to be helpful but now only adds more pressure and worsens my mental state.


shall we chat

what are your thoughts on this? do you feel like you’re pressured to be “perfect” online?? why? do you get so caught up in how cool some people are that you forget that they aren’t perfect? and how are you doing, lovelies?? remember to take care of yourself!!!

p.s. I feel like this post… doesn’t make a lot of sense??? I tried to make it less ranty and repetitive (if I tried to explain further, I would’ve ended up repeating myself) but bottom line: I feel like we forget that our online “idols” aren’t perfect and that often leads to negative effects, whether we know it or not!!

blog signoff

Advertisements

109 thoughts on “The Illusion of a “Perfect Life” in the Online World & the Pressure to Appear “Perfect” Online // Taking a Weird Break??

  1. This is so true! I guess it’s just that everyone I know online seems so perfect, so then I feel pressured to be perfect too… And I really need to stop that, but it’s hard.
    And don’t feel pressured to be funny all the time. You’re funny, and I love it when you’re funny, but your serious posts are also totally amazing!

    And YES! Your health is most important. Take care of yourself, and I hope you feel better soon. ❀️❀️❀️

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Health comes first!!!! Like u said. I struggle with keeping up with damn near anything when im depressed so i hope you can take some good time for you!!! Ill still look forward to your posts. ^^
    And i loooove the topic of this post. I kind of idolize some bloggers, which leads me to think i have to somehow be like them? Which isnt my authentic self. Cuz im messy and sporadic lol.
    And this post totally made sense. Loved it. πŸ‘Œ

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I totally get what you mean honey!!! I’m by no means anyone’s “idol” but I know a few people look up to me and it’s only because I’ve always been a random mess that I think (I *hope*) nobody expects me to always be one specific way (sometimes I’m serious, sometimes I’m not, and that’s okay!). Being able to show the many nuances of being *me* is what keeps me sane online, so I’m wishing really hard that if you’ve felt pressured in any way by us to only show yourself one way, from now on you’ll be able to show yourself however *you* want, not how *we* want. I hope this makes sense because it’s way too late in the night lmao.
    Please take care of yourself and remember that you and your health come first, and if blogging isn’t something that’s helping you right now then it should be the least of your worries. And when you feel up to it again we’ll still be here πŸ’ž

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Ah I love that you’re a “random mess”, Sil! You’re amazing. ❀ And aaahh thank you so so much, that means the world to me. πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ’– And I'm definitely trying to be a bit more of myself and not worry about what others think about that!

      FJDSLKFJSAD You're way too kind to me oh my god, thank you so much. I'm so grateful to have your love & support!!! 😍😭

      Liked by 1 person

  4. AH I RELATE SO (TOO) HARD TO THIS. i totally idolize people sometimes for their branding 0r the way they seem online and it’s so unhealthy– i need to work on that. and i myself work so hard on ~the aesthetic~ of all my bloggy/social media things and it can get exhausting bc i think so much about it. i project a very specific image of myself onto the internet because i definitely like having control of the way people see me and the perfectionism of it allll is so ughafajfjdf.

    i hope you get to feeling better soon ❀ just know that i support you!! taking care of yourself should always come before blogging! and i actually love your more serious discussion posts! ALL YOUR POSTS ARE AMAZING BABE, FUNNY OR NOT. YOU ARE SO AMAZING AND LOVELY.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. yes, same!! and not only just idolizing them and also unconsciously pressuring them, but also pressuring ourselves to be like our idols. (which is bad.) and aahhh no, don’t overwork yourself on aesthetics!! it looks GREAT but your health matters first and foremost ❀ and omg I don't think I need that much control over how people see me haha, but more of like… anxiety over what they think of me (aka what Every Socially Anxious Person Feels Ever)

      jfa;lsdkfjads THANK YOU SO MUCH ILU and I'm so happy you like my discussion posts aaahhhh ❀

      Like

  5. This was so interesting and so true! I am definitely different on this internet, but I feel like I come across as pretty boring whereas, irl I am always cracking jokes and on the internet, I just don’t in case it comes across as stupid.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m so glad you enjoyed the post, Ellyn! πŸ’– And aww, I’m sorry to hear that! (Tho sounding stupid is always one of my top worries as well.) I hope you’ll be able to be a little bit more of yourself online, I’d love to hear your jokes haha πŸ’–

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Oh, May, I totally understand! Mental Health is so important, and I HATE how much pressure life can just put on you, you know? So while I’ll miss you, I’m super happy to know you’re taking a break and getting refreshed.
    ****Lots of hugs****
    Also, if you ever need to chat, I’m always around. Feel free to DM, email, or whatever, (I think I’m easy to get ahold of?) Anyway, I know that it’s hard to struggle with social pressure. I just deactivated my FB so I don’t have to handle that stress. Even going to class is hard some days. I love the motto from the Cinderella movie, Have Courage and Be Kind. Sometimes, I just tell that to myself over and over again. All day. Sometimes having courage is letting go and being kind to yourself. not being what everyone expects and being kind to yourself. Having the courage to be yourself.

    ***more virtual hugs*** (Also, I pass out lots of hugs. Sometimes it can be awkward in real life. So hope it’s not awkward?)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so so much, Elizabeth! Your words mean a lot. πŸ˜­πŸ’–

      You’re so kind aahhh! I’ll definitely reach out to you if I ever need to. ❀ And omg yes, as a person with social anxiety, I definitely deal with a lot of icky things relating to social pressure. School definitely doesn't make it any easier to deal with it! And aww, Elizabeth, that's such good advice! Thank you for it and I will 1000% keep that in mind.

      (No no, I love hugs! Definitely not awkward. πŸ˜‚)

      Like

  7. Love that your talking about this! I can totally relate and agree that there is a TON of pressure out there for bloggers (such as ARC envy, number of followers, page views etc) and often time we feel like we have to be perfect in order to compete and keep up with other bloggers and I’m so glad you brought up the fact that we DO NOT need to be perfect. Thanks so much for this post I really needed it right now bc lately my postings been a bit irregular and I find myself doubting my ideas and its nice to see I’m not the only blogger out there struggling with this!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh yes, there is so much pressure that bloggers face! ARC envy (or even just book envy in general) is a HUGE one for me. I wish that those feelings didn’t exist because it kinda pits us against other bloggers, but it’s just a human feeling! And aahh I am so so happy that this post helped you, that means a lot to me. You 1000% do not have to be perfect, just be you!! ❀

      Like

  8. First off, I love you and I’m always here if you need someone to talk to or someone to yell into the void with! Next, I’m really proud of you for this post. And I think breaks are super good, in general. Always, always, always put your mental health first. And this whole post is an amazing discussion that super important to any subhub of the internet. No one wants to show the “bad” but want to boost “the good” constantly. But you and your feelings are so valid. And, again, I’m here for you, always. Take care, love! I miss you already. πŸ’˜xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aaaahh thank you so much, Mel! Your words mean the absolute world to me. πŸ˜­πŸ’˜ Yes, exactly, I feel like we’re all pressured (by others or ourselves) to hide away the bad, but it’s so important to talk about when we’re not feeling good either! So we can get support from others who are great at giving it, like you. ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Aww, May! This post is lovely, and I think all your posts are wonderful whether they’re funny or not. I guess I don’t exactly feel pressured to be “perfect,” because I just know I’m so far from that it’s actually laughable, but I do sometimes feel pressured to always fit people’s expectations on posts, commenting on other blogs, etc., if that makes sense. I try not to because blogging is for fun, but sometimes it sneaks in anyway!

    I hope your break is relaxing and gives you lots of time to decompress. I’m sorry to hear you’ve been having mental health struggles, and I hope your March is a lot better!❀️Take all the time you need, the Internet isn’t going anywhere.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Aaahh, thank you so so much, Olivia! It means a lot to me. ❀ And omg it's so great that you don't feel pressured to be perfect! (But I definitely feel you about fitting people's expectations of a what a "good blogger" does. Sometimes we need to learn to just be bloggers, and not need to fulfill others' expectations!)

      Thank you so much. I definitely am feeling a lot better, and I'm super glad to be taking this break! Tho I miss everyone. ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  10. great post!! your health is way more important than blogging may. you should definitely take a break if you need to. πŸ™‚ and I understand what you mean by being pressured to expectations. your posts are always awesome though. πŸ˜‰ I took a hiatus for a few months and it was great. so if you need a break, definitely do it. take care! xo

    Liked by 2 people

  11. i love you i love you i love you and i love this post. so much.

    i feel a lot of pressure to always be “”funny”” in my blog posts. and to always dislike books. the former just isn’t possible (which makes me just…not post during weeks when i’m not feeling fun or funny). the latter is completely ridiculous, because why would i read if i feel like i’m going to dislike books??

    i also almost never talk about my personal life on my blog, because i’m a private person. and i like that usually, but then it makes me also put pressure on myself to not talk about how i’m feeling. which is…not good, because i’m a bottler baby!!! i feel emotions rarely and talk about them even more infrequently!!!

    anyway. this post is so important and it really made me feel better. thank you for it ❀ i am a huge fan of taking the occasional blogging break so i'm glad you're doing it. and also i hope we can still reread MBS together at some point.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. FJDSLKFJALDKSFJSD EMMA πŸ˜­πŸ’“

      aaahhh no I’m so sorry you feel pressure to always be funny in your posts, I hope you know that we’ll always love you and your posts no matter if you have humor in them or not??? your hilarity is one of the reasons why we love you of course, but there are so many other reasons than just that

      oh nooo don’t bottle up your emotions!!! you can always choose to share it or not but we’re always here to listen about a brief mention of stress or frustration or whatever’s going on that you feel like you can’t talk about ❀

      fjsldkfsdlsgh I'm so happy that this post made you feel better, love you πŸ’œ

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Honestly, I have no words May. No words. I love YOU I love this POST I love everything about it and YOU. I really needed this; being a teen is actually really hard!! (surprise surprise) There’s the pressure from real life and then from online… the list just goes on and on. I feel like every blogger ‘has’ a blogger that everything about them is #goals. And sometimes you’re just scrolling through Reader, reading posts, and feeling like “I’m just not good enough”.

    Heh, to be honest, that’s me 300% of the time, meaning always!! In life, in the blogosphere, I always feel like I’m not enough. Of course, I know it’s just the subconscious and it’s *not* true, but it just always comes back, you know? We always tell fellow bloggers that do YOU, be yourself… but it’s like it totally does not apply to ourselves. I know it’s hard, but I have loved, and will love, ALL of your posts, funny or not. What makes Forever and Everly “Forever and Everly”, is YOU. Don’t ever change ❀

    And yes, your health and well being is your number 1 priority. I'm actually really glad that you decided to take a break; it's reassuring to know that you have more time to take care of yourself. Mental health is SO important, and I want to let you know that, whatever you're going through, YOU CAN DO THIS. I had my own struggles last year, and when people told me that it'll pass, I thought it's just shit. But guess what? It's true. You are beautiful, inspiring, funny, and everything else between inside and out. Take all the time you need, May. I'm cheering you on πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

    1. OH MY GOD this is such a pure precious comment thank you so so much Kimberly I’m screaming!!!! and yes I 1000% agree, I think all those pressures and insecurities are a part of life, but they’re so horrible (and made even worse if you have a mental illness)

      and no, I totally get you! I think we as humans all have that feeling of not being good enough, or needing validation or approval from others that we ARE good. most of my mental health struggles in the past have been something involving insecurity or some form of self-loathing and that’s a bad mental space to be in. but thank you so so much for this whole comment, it means more than I could ever say ❀

      Liked by 1 person

      1. No worries!! I’m glad I could ‘help’ you in some way ❀ YES so relateable!! and yes yes yes insecurity omg saaaame. In a nutshell – it takes time. Needing validation is something we all crave, but when that validation is coming from us… everything changes πŸ™‚ Speaking of time, is it just me that even tho everyday is 24 hrs long but sometimes it feels to fast but sometimes it's like THIS IS THE LONGEST DAY EVER

        May, you do you and we're all happy ❀ You have my infinite support

        Liked by 1 person

  13. I totally agree with you. Sometimes people perception of us makes us want to keep acting that way instead of just being ourselves and we are put under pressure. Take all the time you need dear, health comes first. You could also loosen up on your strict blogging schedule and just take a step back and post when you are ready. We will still be here with you, whether you post once a month or twice a month or once in two months…. Take care of yourself dear. Sending good vibes your way

    Liked by 2 people

  14. Honestly I agree with this post so much, I often feel pressurized about the things I say online, thinking people dont expect me to say *this* or be like *this* and what if they don’t like me once they know *this* about me and it just kind of upsets me sometimes. I love your blog and I hope you feel better soon ❀

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes yes yes, same!! It’s made even worse by my anxiety & social anxiety because I’m just constantly worrying about how people think of me or how they judge me. I’m slowly trying to not let it get to me tho (but it’s hard). Thank you lovely, I hope some of the pressure on you lessens, you’re amazing ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  15. I agree with you SO much yet it’s something all humans seem to naturally do??? Like, compare themselves to others. I think it’s born out of discontentment and if we were all happy with you we are and where we’re at then it’ll be fine. Look, there’s always going to be someone with more followers than you, someone who gets loads more views and comments, but you are you and that’s totally okay. I bet you there are people who look up to you just like you might look up to someone else!

    Nobody’s perfect, you’re totally right. “All your perfect imperfections…..” La la la, however the song goes, but if we all just accepted who we were we’d never gave the drive and motivation to improve! So yeah, I think it’s getting the balance between contentment and moving forwards just right. πŸ˜€

    Well done you for taking a break! Your mental health is SO much more precious than blogging so protect it and listen to what it wants you to do. Lots of love, xxxx❀️❀️❀️

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes, I so agree with you! I think it’s something so human to be insecure or doubt ourselves or compare ourselves to each other, and I feel like we’ll honestly ve doing that forever! But I hope I (and everyone else) get to a place where my positive feelings outweigh my negative, you know?

      Aahh thank you so much, Gracie! Your words mean a lot to me. πŸ’œ

      Liked by 1 person

  16. Hi May!
    Wow this post hit me hard. Thanks for reminding me that nobody’s perfect – I needed that like everyone needs water and food πŸ™‚
    Also, I love what you do with your fonts!! The whole sizing and bold and not bold thing???? You rock it girl πŸ™‚
    All the best,
    -Little Lion, STSI Many Stories Two Authors One Website

    Liked by 2 people

  17. Take care of yourself! I love your funny posts, but these more ‘serious’ ones are good too. They still sound like you, and so it’s a ‘May’ post. Don’t feel guilty about being you! 😊
    I can relate to the pressure. What if I post a tip that’s WRONG?! I’ve been feeling this a lot more recently during my series of dialogue because in the past couple of posts my family has been pointing out mistakes. So now I am just really unsure about this and my self and so my blogging confidence pretty much was flushed down the drain.

    So fun.

    πŸ˜‘

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ah, thank you so much, Julia! And omg that means a lot to me. πŸ˜­πŸ’“

      Oh, I’m so sorry you’ve been feeling that way, Julia! I think definitely being told that something we do or say is wrong, but at least we’re learning what’s right, right? I hope it doesn’t make you feel too bad though, you’re awesome no matter what! πŸ’–

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Great post! You are right about so many things! Your health is always top priority. There’s only 1 you ❀ πŸ™‚

    I think i'm somewhat lucky in this regard because i don't particularly feel the need to be anything anymore online, or in my personal life, apart from being myself. It took me quite a lot of time to actually get here, and it was hard work, but i'm glad i managed to do it, because it's truly liberating.

    At one point I deliberately stopped reading / following lifestyle bloggers, travel bloggers and instagram accounts on these topics for example, because it used to stress me out and made me wonder how are they always so cool and why i'm not, and so on.

    Other than that, i spent a lot of time trying to get to know myself and learning the reasons why i feel the way i feel. Now i can even look at those people and be absolutely fine with myself, but i noticed that i'm just simply not even interested anymore.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aww, thank you so so much, Norrie! ❀

      And aahh I'm so happy that you've reached a point where you're content with yourself! It gives me hope that I might get there one day, and it's so inspiring πŸ’œ

      Oh yeah, that's a really interesting part of this too! Like looking at lifestyle bloggers or IG accounts probably makes us think that their lives are perfect which 1) can affect them and 2) can affect how we view our own lives! I've stopped following a lot of lifestyle blogs as well (unless they're ones that talk about more serious issues and offer really good life tips and things like that).

      Liked by 1 person

  19. i love youuuu πŸ’˜πŸ’˜ and i totally understand the pressure!! it’s caused me to have a major blogging slump lately and just,, pressure sucks my dude. so don’t feel bad about taking a break!!! I LOVE YOU πŸ’ž

    Liked by 1 person

  20. I’m so happy you’re taking a break because this just means you’re allowing yourself to step back from blogging, because we all know blogging is hard and it’s just a great thing that you’re admitting it and letting yourself take a break from it a bit.
    And to be honest, I agree too! I don’t know how I ever managed to be able to post so consistently in my earlier years of blogging, or even sometimes now, because like… how!??
    Don’t feel bad about taking a break, have a fun time!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aaahh, thank you so much for your sweet comment, Gianna! It means a lot ❀ And I knooow, like I used to blog three times a week each around 1K words and I have literally no idea how I managed that?? I think my mental health was better back then or something because I'm doing much less blogging-wise now and my mental health is really negatively affected πŸ˜…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re oh so welcome!!! And I agree! Sometimes we can look back on ourselves doing things that ourselves now cannot possibly see as realistic. This is such a great accomplishment for you!!

        Liked by 1 person

  21. Thank you for your very well-written post! πŸ’•

    I definitely agree that we tend to idolize people we look up to quickly and assume that they’re perfect, which of course isn’t the case. I always try to remind myself of that (as I’ve been guilty of doing this in the past), because people make mistakes and they aren’t this version that we have come up with! I’m also very grateful that you’re openly talking about how this has affected you and been stressful, because I feel like a lot of people are going to be able to relate.

    I really hope that you are able to relax and feel better πŸ’• Posting when you feel like it sounds like a good way to start, so you don’t have to feel pressured to produce posts after a certain schedule. Taking time to do some self-care is really important and I hope that you manage to find some relaxing activities to do! πŸ’• I haven’t taken a lot of self-care recently, which is something that I have to improve myself!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes yes yes! I’m definitely guilty of assuming people’s lives are perfect, or just wishing I was them (or had a certain quality that they had and I didn’t), and it’s really hard to stop because it’s human nature but I’m still trying as hard as I can! And aaaahh I’m so glad to be at a point in my life where I can talk about it and have a safe space ❀

      Thank you so much! Taking a break so far is really really helpful, and I definitely like posting whenever I feel like it. And oh, I hope you get the time to do some self-care activities, Caro! It's super important and you deserve all the best love and care πŸ’•

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It definitely is what we tend to do easily, but it’s important to try to see that we don’t know everything about their lifes and only get to see a glimpse!
        β™₯ β™₯ β™₯

        I’m glad to hear that taking a break has beenw working out for you! β™₯ Ah thank you πŸ’•πŸ’• I’ve been trying to do some self-care those last few days πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

  22. I totally agree with this post, it totally sums up what I’ve also been feeling lately and couldn’t say it properly!! I think that the idolization is totally a thing, and I totally get the pressure to be funny, and I FEEL SO BAD for not being funny all the time on my blog and that there’s pressure to be the person that people think you are and to hide away all your feelings when you shouldn’t???

    Totally take time for yourself!! It’s really important to give yourself time for your own mental health!!! It’s no good to feel the pressure of this community because it can worsen your mental health even more and you really don’t want to be in that situation so taking a break now is a great idea!!!

    I hope that your hiatus-thing brings you some calm from the community and you get to have a great rest and enjoy posting when you want without the stress ❀ ❀ SORRY YOU'RE FEELING THIS WAYYYYY MAYYYY

    Liked by 1 person

    1. AAAAHH I’m so happy you can relate Lu!! (I mean,, I’m glad I put it into words for you lmao) and omg yes I always feel so bad for not being funny because I kinda feel like that’s my brand?? or people expect it from me??? or I’m always trying to be funny in a way that I like in others but I can’t do it jlsdkfslkdjfasd

      aahhhh thank you so much Lu I love you and I hope you remember to take breaks when you need/want to too lovely!!! I’m having a really great break so far (but then,,,,, stats ugH)

      Liked by 1 person

  23. I definitely get what you mean May, I can see it from both sides as well because I feel that pressure to be a perfect blogger (if there is such a thing as a perfect blogger) but at the same time there are plenty of bloggers out there I admire and want to be more like. I guess in a way your post just kind of reminded me we all have the same insecurities at times, and we all probably feel the same way about other bloggers out there and about ourselves and our own blogs. πŸ™‚
    I really hope you feel better in terms of your mental health soon, but take as much time as you need away as well. Our health is so important and you need to make sure you put yourself first rather than your blog you know? We’ll all be here waiting when you come back and it’s very possible not much will have changed on WordPress either. πŸ™‚
    Great post. πŸ˜€ ❀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, same! I think that a lot of people look up to me in a certain way (and have even said so, which makes my heart just explode in happiness ahaha), but I’m always looking up to others and wanting to be more like them as well! I think it’s human nature to do that, but I think we can always work to make sure we’re more aware of what we’re doing and try to be more content with ourselves πŸ™‚

      Aahh, Beth, thank you so much!! I’m definitely having a great break so far, and having all that pressure off me is really relieving ❀

      Liked by 1 person

      1. If we’re always looking up to someone else I think there’s always something to aim for, some goal to reach and that’s what keeps blogging interesting for me you know? Still having some goal I want to achieve in the near or far future. πŸ™‚
        That’s all right, and yeah I can imagine. Sometimes there’s just so much going on in our lives we need a break every now and again. ❀

        Liked by 1 person

  24. I feel this post with my soul wow thank you so much for this!! also hi yeah I’m writing this as if I didn’t disappear off the internet for, like, 6 months, and idk if you even remember me at all. we talked on the ywp?? I have no idea how to use wordpress but your content is absolutely lovely ❀ internet can definitely be detrimental to mental health so good for you for taking a break!

    Liked by 1 person

  25. Aw, yes, I feel this a lot! I always feel like I have to put out quality content all the time at all times or everything is just going to fall apart…which isn’t the case, and I know that if a post falls flat, I can just pick myself up again, but still…sometimes it stresses me out. And, really, that stress comes from me because I’m a perfectionist. But I wish I could just step back and not put so much pressure on me and my blog when I don’t need to. I took a break recently, and I’m ready to get right on track with March (HOPEFULLY). ❀️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, same same same! Like whenever a post doesn’t do as well as I thought it would, I get a little sad, but always move on, but there’s still that lingering pressure to always write good posts. (Even tho I just move on from all the other “failures”??) And ahaha I’m such a perfectionist as well! I hope you won’t feel so much pressure now that you’re break from a break! ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  26. Take the time you need for yourself! I know what you mean about these pressures though. It’s easy to put a lot of your self-worth into having the sort of success someone else seems to be having. Even if objectively you know they aren’t living a perfect life. Hope this break helps you relax and recover!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Aww, thank you so so much, Liselle! ❀ And aahh yes, I definitely think that comparing myself to the people I idolize and trying to be more like them always affects my idea of self-worth (but I also think it's also partly due to human nature!). Thank you! ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  27. I feel you girl, I think most of us have those same insecurities and even the “perfect ones” we look up to have those same issues. Hope you have a nice break filled with mangos \o/ I haven’t been blogging much (just reading posts, heh) but I’m fine with it, I want to write when I’m passionate about it and want to share my rainbows with the world. Hakuna matata πŸ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, I think all of us as humans have our insecurities! It’s just a matter of how we deal with it haha. And aahh thank you so much!! (I hope you’re having some lovely mangoes as well.) And oh yes, that’s great! writing when you’re passionate is always a good way to go ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  28. hey hey hey – this post makes PERFECT sense! even though i don’t know your irl personality and daily life, you are still amazing. the way you portray yourself online is a part of you and i feel like you’ve shown us the best parts of yourself but since people see you as funny, you’re scared to show your more serious side or your flaws. i completely understand this. for a long time i wouldn’t talk about anything personal on my blog – it was strictly books and i never really showed my personality because i felt like nobody would like that, but ever since i did more people seemed to be commenting and following so maybe what i’m trying to say is that even though you aren’t confident in every side of yourself, we will love you and read your content no matter whether you’re funny, serious, anything (as long as it’s not political lmao xD). Since your life in a mess right now, it’s completely understandable having to step back or just not post on a schedule. i respect this choice of yours and will look forward to your future posts and updates on how you’re doing πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. AAAAAHHH Savannah 😭😭😭 Thank you so so much for your sweet words, you literal angel!! ❀ I'm so glad that you were able to open up a little more because there's no way that we could hate your personality! And fjsdlfksdj thank you so much, it means a lot. ❀ (This is such an inadequate reply to your lovely comment aaah.)

      Liked by 1 person

  29. i love you so much you deserve the world ❀ dont let anyone tell you otherwise. sending all my love, i hope your mental health improves, do whatever you need to do to ensure bc you are the most important human to ever exist dont't forget that. don't feel pressurised to do anything okay you do you okay? ❀ ❀

    Liked by 1 person

  30. This is SO SO true May!! I couldn’t have said it better!! It can be very stressful trying to constantly be this β€˜perfect’ version of yourself and I’m so so glad that you have decided to speak up about it! It’s a very brave thing to do and so is taking a break!
    I just got back from a hiatus too (again 😭) so I’m going to miss you TONs but I’m definitely going to look forward to your next posts and just catching up with you! I’m really glad that you are putting your health first because that’s really important! All in all: you go girl!! You are an amazing blogger and we are all going to be here for you! Hope that everything gets easier!! (and better) keep smiling and being amazing!! 😊❀️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aahh, thank you so much Sasha! You are so kind. ❀ It definitely is pressuring to be one certain version of yourself haha.

      Aww welcome back from hiatus! FJDSLFKJSDL THANK YOU SO MUCH LOVELY, your words mean the world to me! 😭 This break really is helping me and I hope your break helped you as well! ❀

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank YOU so much May!! I’m really glad to be back! And I’m really happy that your break is going well!! We are definitely missing you but taking care of yourself is much more important! ❀️
        Oh, and my break really helped me as well!! Thank you so much! πŸ˜ŠπŸ’— xx

        Liked by 1 person

  31. This is such a great and so very real post, May, I am so glad you wrote this. I have been feeling this pressure to “be perfect”, or at least be the blogger everyone wants me to be or to try and give off that perfect image of a blogger that has everything together, but truth is, I very much don’t and everythin can be very messy and so is my mind and my life and everything else and sometimes, it’s just too hard to live up to this pressure, to what people think and what I want to think of myself and the image I kind of want to show of myself. Anyway, this is something I really struggle with as well.
    I hope that your hiatus will help you and that you’ll feel a bit better about everything, know that I love you and support you all the time and I am always here whenever you need to talk, rant or anything else, you can always find me and talk to me, I’ll always be here for you ❀ ❀ You're the best, I'm sending you all the love and hugs and positive vibes ❀

    Liked by 1 person

  32. Awww, sorry you’re not feeling too good, May! ❀

    what are your thoughts on this?:
    STOP. MAKING. PEOPLE. FEEL. UNWORTHY.

    Seriously. We is all perfect already??? I mean, not as in, "Omw, Kell doesn't nothing wrong!" (but I don't, I am perfect, seriously) but as in … our personalities are perfect. Because they are what we were born to be. And there are things about everyone that are just so awesome that no one should feel like they need to be different to be cared about or special or whatever.

    do you feel like you’re pressured to be β€œperfect” online?? why?:
    Well, a couple days back, I would have said "no, of course not! #strongindependentwoman #dontneednoonesopinionofme" (I probably would have used less hashtags that are long and rambly, tho…) But, y'know, these last couple days, I've been feeling lousy about myself, especially as a blogger/writer. I feel unprofessional, second-rate, not the kind of person anyone would want to know, etc. … and hey, I know I'm not perfect, but then the people who I'm comparing myself to (with their perfect websites and writing and careers and all … okay, I'll stop) aren't perfect … it's hard to see that, though! People are frighteningly good at what they do, especially in the blogging world, and I'm just like, "Actually, I'm making this up as I go …" xD

    But yep. πŸ˜› I'll get over it, I guess …

    do you get so caught up in how cool some people are that you forget that they aren’t perfect?:
    All the time.

    and how are you doing, lovelies??:
    Pretty loverly! I finally got around to commenting on this blog post. *coughs* It's been a while …

    Like

  33. this is such a lovely and thoughtful post ❀ I'm sorry to hear that you've been having a hard time, and I totally understand needing to take a break! tbh not having a posting schedule like most bloggers seem to makes me feel kind of inadequate sometimes, but I know that not having one is better for me personally! I have enough stressful deadlines between work and school, and I want blogging to be something that brings me happiness in my spare time. I don't think I really have an online "brand" (mostly bc I'm just all over the place with the content I post), but I feel you on the expectations of other people thing. I hope you can take some time to yourself and feel better, and know that I love all of your content and am always happy to learn more about different parts of your personality that you choose to share ❀ ❀

    Like

The Mango Queen demands your opinions.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s