May’s Moments of the Month: February // Deteriorating Mental Health, Failing at Everything… But Reading Motivation??

The title of this post makes it sound like I had a REALLY bad February, but it was honestly just a bad February.

I really did not have a good month mental-health-wise, or writing-wise, or productivity-in-general-wise. But I blame it all on the bad health which can all be blamed on my mind and my stupid brain.

But some good things DID happen besides that?? I mean the bad mental health part kinda overshadows everything else, but there were still some good things. Like reading motivation. And Black Panther. And the Olympics.

I don’t know, I just hope March is a WHOLE lot better.

mmm reading

I read 8 books this month!! I’m really proud that I was able to do that (even though one was a webcomic and another was a reread), and I’m currently reading a huge 500-paged book.

I also read a lot more ebooks this month than I usually do??? (Like two… but that’s stiLL TWO MORE THAN USUAL.) It actually got me out of my slump to be reading books in a different format, even tho I thought that format didn’t work for me!! I still hugely prefer physical books, however.*

Also you know how I said “lots of good books” in the title? That was a lie. Only three books were rated three stars or higher. But it’S OKAY BECAUSE I FOUND MY READING MOTIVATION.

*It’s the smell.

click the star rating to read the review on Goodreads!

The City of Brass (The Daevabad Trilogy, #1)  At the Edge of the Universe  To Kill a Mockingbird

The Darkest Part of the Forest  I Believe in a Thing Called Love  Girl Made of Stars  A Monster Calls

  • The City of Brass SK Chakraborty // DNF // I officially DNFed this book in February (tho I stopped earlier) and I am SO GLAD I did. I’m extremely sad and salty that I didn’t like this book, one of my most anticipated, but… roasting it was fun. ★☆☆☆☆
  • At the Edge of the Universe Shaun David Hutchinson // Shaun is one of my favorite authors of queer books and this one was SO. SO. good. It was beautiful and haunting and so real and just ?? fjlsd;fjad I can’t describe it. ★★★★☆ [4.5]
  • To Kill a Mockingbird Harper Lee // I thought I would like this one but I very much DID not. I was so extremely bored by everything and barely cared about the characters??? However, in my interpretation, the message was really important, tho it has problematic aspects. ★★☆☆☆ [2.5]
  • The Darkest Part of the Forest Holly Black // I am so ANGRY I didn’t like this one!!! It just wasn’t gay enough?? I’d heard that the gay couple was REALLY GAY but it barely got any page time and I am sad. (And tho that was literally my only issue, my high expectations is what gives this an “average” rating.) ★★★☆☆
  • I Believe in a Thing Called Love Maurene Goo // So I literally picked this up for the Asian rep, but if I’d read the blurb, I’d have known that I wouldn’t like it. And I didn’t!!! It was so CRINGY and DRAMATIC and STUPID. But at the same time… it was soooo addicting. ★★☆☆☆ [2.5]
  • Girl Made of Stars Ashley Herring Blake // x2 // This book has made HISTORY by being the fifth book I’ve ever cried over. And my first five-star in a long time. And my first five-star of 2018. And a book I reread within 2 days of first finishing. Y’ALL. PLEASE READ IT. PLEASE. IT’S BECOME A NEW FAVORITE AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH. Shut up Elise. ★★★★★
  • A Monster Calls Patrick Ness // Okay, I have only heard the BEST things about this one and Ilsa screamed at me to read it so many times. So I expected to love it and cry. My expectations went even higher when I heard that it dealt with cancer. Instead, I didn’t like it, I didn’t get the message, and one thing was just so OFF about it all. FJDLSK;JFADS. ★★☆☆☆ [2.5]

ARCs?

I GOT TWO MORE PHYSICAL ARCS THIS MONTH AND I’M SO EXCITED!!!

Thank you so much to Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Teen for these two ARCs! I read Girl Made of Stars already, and as you know already from my screaming above, I absolutely LOVED it and I actually cried over it* and then proceeded to reread it two days after I first finished it. READ IT READ IT READ IT.

*May? Crying over books?? Unheard of.

favorite book of the month?

Y’all it’s TOTALLY City of Brass.

(I’m just kidding, it’s 1000% Girl Made of Stars. Again, ADD IT TO YOUR TBR IT’S THE BEST BOOK OF 2018 I LOVE IT SO MUCH HOW MUCH MORE DO I NEED TO SCREAM ABOUT IT.)

disappointment of the month?

Okay so I already talked about how SALTY I am about not liking of City of Brass in January (but I officially DNFed in February), so I’ll say: A Monster Calls!! I really thought I would love this, especially since my mom has cancer and so does the main character’s mom, but something was unexplainably off about it.

favorite review?

I posted like two reviews this month?? But my To Kill a Mockingbird review was really fun because I got to rant about systemically ingrained racism!!! Yay!!!

mmm blogging

stats?

So I’ve decided to take this section out, because I think one of the worst things you can do as a blogger is compare yourself to others, especially stats-wise!!! I’m an actual nerd and like to analyze things like this but I’ll keep it in a doc for my eyes only.

This month did get a less stats than January, but that was expected, and I’m honestly okay with it!

top posts of the month?

1 yr q&a 1  rising author tag  open arms books

Check out all my February posts HERE!!

favorite post of the month?

perfect online pressure

God, I really loved writing this post. I was scared about publishing it, especially since I felt like I still had more things to say, but I just couldn’t explain it. But the feedback I got from everyone was literally AMAZING.

People commented about how they related, or gave me support for my mental health struggles, or even commented about how much this post helped them. Seeing others connect to what I felt, seeing others give me SO MUCH LOVE, seeing others tell me that my post meant a lot to them?? JFdlkfsgdjflsj I wish I could feel the way I did every single day!!!

posts i loved?

mmm writing

  • Well, writing this month did NOT work out how I thought it would.
  • I was hoping on plotting out my WIP and starting to outline it, but so far, I’ve got a one-fourth-completed plot and only one main character’s name!!! I love writing!!!!
  • No but seriously, I am really disappointed that I didn’t get to plot out as much. I have so much motivation for this project (kind of) but I just!! have!! no!! inspiration!!
  • This is the #1 reason why I can’t do any epic fantasies or mysteries or thrillers or heists because I SUCK AT PLANNING.
  • I mean, I don’t even know my MC’s goal which I’m pretty sure is 99% of what the whole story is built around (if anyone would like to do it all for me help me, that’d be great).
  • I ALSO did not write a lot of poetry this month (read: none), and the poems that I did write were decent enough (read: not at all).
  • But I did kinda get started on writing a short story for a writing contest hosted by my school and a local writers’ league!! I actually really like the plot of it (it’s simple but symbolic) and I want to make it sapphic, but I’ll have to turn in a non-queer version because Texans are intolerant.

mmm life

  • In my last post, I talked a little bit about how my mental health wasn’t the best, and that is still true!
  • It started in January, when I felt really “dead” about everything and life and it ruined my whole mood and month. In the beginning of February, I also felt pretty meh about everything.
  • But somehow at the end of February, it all turned around and just got even worse?? So instead of feeling “nothing”, I just got hit with all this negativity.
  • I talked with myself (aka ranted to an invisible camera like I was a YouTuber) and figured out what was most likely causing all the negativity, decided to take a kind-of break from blogging, and became more aware of what I was thinking, especially about myself. I can confidently say that I’m doing better!! Still bad, but better!!!
  • There was Valentine’s Day!!! That I didn’t do anything for because I’m lame.
  • I saw Black Panther and it was SO GOOD!!! I’m honestly not that much of a fan of Marvel/DC, and had no idea what Black Panther was about. But it got so much hype online so I went and saw it with a friend and OH MY GOD IT WAS SO GOOD!!! I don’t even have words for it, ugh just EVERYONE PLEASE WATCH IT.
  • The last week of February involved: A kid getting arrested for vaping on campus, that same kid plus another kid getting arrested for “terroristic threats” online, and another kid getting suspended for cyberbullying!!! I love a Good School that prides itself on being “principled”!!!
  • The Winter Olympics happened, and tbh I just love any Olympics in general?? They bring such a sense of unity to see athletes from different countries come together to compete. And also people are really good at sports and it makes me cry.
  • (Shoutout to all the Asian Americans who represented Team USA this year!!! I LOVE YOU.)
  • There was also the Parkland school shooting that took place in February. I know I don’t usually talk about things like that but I should, but I feel like this shooting is especially important (out of the many we’ve already had in the US in 2018 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)  because it finally got people talking about gun control. I don’t want to get into a political rant but JUST BAN THE STUPID GUNS.

mmm old goals

I guess I shouldn’t be so surprised about failing literally everything but I can’t help but have the highest expectations for myself.

READING

  • read at least 9 books  (I READ EIGHT I WAS SO CLOSE)
  • write & upload at least 5 reviews  (I uploaded… 2)
  • enjoy myself more?  (while I had barely any books rated highly, I actually felt very motivated to read, and I haven’t felt that way since September, so I’M HAPPY)

WRITING

  • plot my WIP & maybe start outlining it?  (hahHAHHAhahahahHAHAHAH I hate life)
  • write more poetry  (when did I make this goal because I sure don’t remember this)
  • write 4K short story for writing contest  (look I wrote like a few paragraphs in February and more in these past few days of March but STILL)

BLOGGING

  • reach 1,200 followers  (I love being validated!!!)
  • finalize other design elements  (wow I didn’t even think about this)
  • COMMENT & REPLY TO COMMENTS ON TIME  (wow so I failed this too surprise surprise)

LIFE

  • drink 1 water bottle each day 
  • straighten back at least 1 time a day 
  • get 9 hours of sleep at least once a week  (I’M SO PROUD I ACTUALLY DID THIS)

mmm new goals

READING

  • read at least 10 books (I WILL DO IT OR DIE. but probably do it because I have a week off of school I’M EXCITED)
  • write & upload at least 10 reviews (this is such an ambitious goal but putting extremely ridiculous expectations on myself is so much fun!!!)
  • request more ARCs (because I’m selfish and want free books)

WRITING

  • ACTUALLY plot my WIP (so I’ve decided to outline my WIP in April because I know that I will not be able to do it this month but I jUST REALLY WANT A PLOT UGH)
  • write more poetry (I SWEAR. I NEED THIS SO BAD)
  • write 4K short story for writing contest (okay now I actually have to write this because it’s due March 31st but I’m actually looking forward to this wHOA)

BLOGGING

  • reach 1,220 followers (no high expectations here when I have no many times I’ll be posting but please validate me and my fragile health)
  • take a break* (I’m taking a blogging breeeeeak where I will post randomly when I feel like it!!! I probably will still keep up with posts and comments but it’s all very laid-back)
  • COMMENT & REPLY TO COMMENTS ON TIME (this still applies why am I such a procrastinator)

LIFE

  • drink 1 water bottle each day
  • SEEEEELF-CAAAAARE (this is literally SO IMPORTANT especially after the really bad month I had, so I want to take care of my body and my mind and relax!!!)
  • get 8 hours of sleep at least three times a week (last month I literally got 9 hours of sleep on Saturday… and then got 6-7 hours every other day. not this time Satan!!)

*Will I ever be able to not sing this like Eliza does? No.

mmm looking ahead

A WHOLE WEEK off of school. I am literally so excited to FINALLY HAVE A BREAK because my mental health just plummeted after going back to school in January. Now I’ll actually have time to do things that I haven’t had time to do, and do things that will relax me!! I’m literally hoping to do a coloring book, I’m that desperate for something calming.

Daaaaaance. I have a spring show coming up (in fact, three) so there’ll be lots of rehearsals and practice for that! Although it’s REALLY STUPID that there are three shows because no one even comes to one so ??? what is the purpose ????

Actually a lot of writing this time!! I’m hoping that with less blogging, I’ll be able to write lots more, including my short story, poems, and also plotting!! Also if anyone wants to read the short story, let me know, because I really want to win want the money love feedback.


shall we chat

how was your februray?? did it suck, or was it actually good? have you seen black panther yet? (PLEASE DO) getting lots of sleep? what did you do to celebrate valentine’s day? and are you going to read girl made of stars now????

p.s. fun fact: this 2K+ word post deleted itself and I had to rewrite it!!!! I love life

blog signoff

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78 thoughts on “May’s Moments of the Month: February // Deteriorating Mental Health, Failing at Everything… But Reading Motivation??

  1. OKAY IM SO PROUD OF THAT CAN U GIVE ME A GOLD STAR PLS AND THANKS!!

    My mental health was actually okay this month! I’m in a much better place than other times but I just feel very…demotivated and I feel like everything is very emotionally taxing and draining! And guess who’s supposed to be doing hwk but instead commenting on your post. YEAH, that might be me!! OOPS.

    OMIGOD I NEED GIRL MADE OF STARS!! I’ll make sure if I get any money I’ll pre-order it or something just for you okay and IT. BETTER. BE. GOOD! and if its not goodbye girl. just kidding!! i’m actually just sad you didn’t like a monster calls and not salty. AND A FIVE STARS FOR ONCE UHM YES!! also do you count dnfs as read books?

    okay im kinda glad your taking away stats bc i’m always comparing myself to bloggers and its so bad :((( and idk it’s really heartwarming to see people linking to really personal posts of mine because it shows that i can blog for myself and people will still enjoy my content and that just means EVERYTHING.

    Frick may did you see the texts of people during the school shooting? I was legit gonna cry May, it’s the most heartbreaking thing I’ve seen in so long omfg. I just can’t. I found it to scary that in America you can go by a gun, that seems terrifiying how do you even think your safe?

    I NEED TO WATCH BLACK PANTHER!! UGH!! Good luck on your goals and dancing and writing and hope your mental health improves and that you have lots of 5 star books next month. LOVE YOU!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. frick this is such a late reply lmao

      yay I’m so glad your mental health was good in February!!! yeah I definitely feel you, some days I’m feeling amazing, and other days I just feel so horrible

      WAIT YOU’RE GETTING GMOS RIGHT???? AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH. and I’m really really sad that I didn’t like A Monster Calls. I’m salty too but not salty in an annoyed way, like salty in a sad way. I count certain DNFs as read books?? like if I read more than half of the book I generally call it read (especially if I spent so much time reading it like CoB)

      and yaaaay your personal posts are amazing!! I did a few more personal / not as “funny” posts recently and I really liked that too

      NOOOO I haven’t seen them!! I’ll have to look them up when I’m able to handle it. and tbh I never really think about people owning guns?? like a girl my age talked about owning a gun and I was just really shocked, like it wasn’t something that I usually thought about

      Liked by 1 person

  2. AWW MAYYYYYYY, I’M SORRY THAT THIS WAS SUCH A BAD MONTH FOR YOU!!

    OMG. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH ALREADY BUT I LOVE YOU MORE BECAUSE I TOO JUST DID NOT GET A MONSTER CALLS. I didn’t cry, I didn’t get connected, I just don’t see the hype that’s there and… I thought I was the only one!! I had REALLY high expectations… but…. Nope!!

    I just added GIRL MADE OF STARS TO MY TBR BC IT SOUNDS AMAZING AND IF YOU LOVE IT I PROBABLY WILL TOO!! ❤

    I LOVE LOVE LOVED YOUR POST ABOUT THE ILLUSION OF PERFECT LIVES & PRESSURE TO BE PERFECT!! ❤

    Thank you for linking to my post sweetie!! ❤ ❤

    IT’S OKAY OT NOT HAVE ALL YOUR WRITING TOGETHER!! B/c its going to eventually come to you!! AHH WHAT’S YOUR SHORT STORY ABOUT I NEED TO KNOWWWWWWW!!!!!! (Intolerant Texans go away pls)

    I HAVEN’T SEEN BLACK PANTHER BUT I NEED IT IN MY LIFE. I want to see it b/c I LOVE MARVEL but school 😦 and homework 😦 and sleep 😀 PFTTTTT VALENTINES DAY… ie a day to myself!!! So romantic!!!

    I hope that your March is better than February and you get to take care of yourself (DON'T FORCE YOURSELF TO WRITE!!) and that you read great books and feel better!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. omggggg I LOVE YOU EVEN MORE!!! I’m honestly so so happy that someone else didn’t connect to it… like I just Did Not get the message it was trying to convey?? and YES YES GIRL MADE OF STARS WAS AMAZING AAAHHH

      and fjsdlfjsdl you’re so sweet aaahhh I hope my writing comes to me soon lmao. and I’ll send you the short story (if you want) when I’m done!!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I’M SO PROUD OF YOU MAY!! *throws virtual mangoes*. But, you know, when firearms are criminalized, only criminals have firearms. That’s not to say that better gun safety is TOTALLY in order!
    {Natalie}

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  4. I AM SO SORRY that you had another bad month. Really, so many people are having rough Februaries? I think we all need more sunshine. I’m going to blame the short daylight hours. (not diminishing mental heath or anything like that but I had a doctor friend who told me to get more sunshine to help depression in the winter. She was problematic and was a heck ton wrong about ALOT of stuff but I kind of believe the sunshine thing? Just let me have real medicines and stop telling me homeopathy is the ONLY solution) (TOTAL rant at quacky doctor lady, not you)

    OK, dokie back to books. YAY for reading and feeling like reading! I read a ton the first 10 days and NOTHING the rest of the month? I’m hoping to read ALL of March and I’m kind of excited about my books! I finally started the Lunar Chronicles and I only have 1 more Percy Jackson book and I’ll be done with that series! And I bought the heroes of Olympus so I can jump into that series!

    I’m not writing right now because I just finished my first draft. I’m going kind of crazy because I don’t have a current WIP? but I think I need to take a short break even if it is HARD.

    Also, my computer randomly decided to die. And refused to ever wake up again. Perfect timing 😦 Because midterms!!!! I’ve lost ALL my homework. But not my book? Because I backed up my book but not my homework? I’m so smart ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
    I also wasn’t able to blog this weekend because I didn’t have a computer. But my awesome parents bought me a new one while I was in a puddle of tears and absolute panic attack. Literally fell apart in my professor’s office. But he was so kind and let me make up my homework. THANK YOU FRENCH PROFESSOR. But also, why computer, why??????

    AND GUN CONTROL NOW. That is ALL. Except only criminals having guns is a myth. Look at Denmark, folks. Lowest crime rate in the world. No guns. It works. (Also, look at Canada, Australia, Germany, the UK)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aaahhh, Elizabeth, you are way too kind to me!! And omg I just generally do not like the heat?? But while I love winter, it usually is really cloudy and gloomy and Seasonal Affective Disorder (I think that’s the name?) isn’t as bad in Texas as it is up north, but I definitely feel it haha.

      Ooh I hope you got to read a lot in March!! The Lunar Chronicles is one of my FAVORITE series, as well as Percy Jackson! (PJO is one of my childhood series that I’ll forever stan.)

      Omg CONGRATS ON FINISHING YOUR FIRST DRAFT!! ❤ That is seriously an amazing accomplishment and you definitely deserve a break haha.

      Oh noooo, I'm so sorry about your computer dying, but yay for parents coming in and saving the day! I hope you're not freaking out as much about that now ❤ And yes yes yes, I agree. Some people just can't (or refuse to) see that countries with gun control have less crime & less/no school shootings, versus what America has. 😒

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  5. I hope March is an amazing month for you! YAY for all the books you read! I’ve been wanting to read Girl Made of Stars, so you inspired me to get it when it comes out!!

    I’m so glad your mental health is improving, and I hope it keeps getting better! I hope you take all the measures you need to to get better. Good luck with all of your March goals and everything you’re looking forward to this month! I have a dance show coming up soon too (in April)… spring recital season is definitely right around the corner.

    ALSO WHEN YOU WROTE ‘TAKE A BREAK’ I IMMEDIATELY STARTED SINGING “RUN AWAY WITH US FOR THE SUMMER’ AND THEN I LOOKED AND SAW THAT YOU DID A POSTSCRIPT ABOUT HAMILTON and sorry for all the caps but that was quite exciting.😂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Omggg YES you have to read Girl Made of Stars, Olivia! It truly was a beautiful and amazing book. ❤ And aah well, my mental health got better and then worsened, but now it's slowly climbing back up? It's all over the place. 😂 Ooh, good luck with your dance show! Yess, my recital is coming up in May (and I have to be there for all five shows 😂).

      YES GREAT HAMILTRASH MINDS THINK ALIKE!!!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. oh my god okay i forgot everything i wanted to comment on so here goes nothing.

    “if anyone would like to do it all for me” is literally me anytime i try to outline/plot/plan/work on my writing and it SUCKS because i’m actually motivated to write but i just.. don’t know what?? or how i’m supposed to make sense of the mess in my head?? i’m just SO bad at structuring and plotting and it kills me bc i really wanna be an actual published author but at the rate it’s going, it probably won’t happen like.. ever

    and i’m SOWWWY you had such a bad mental health month but i totally get it 😦 that’s literally how i’ve been feeling all throughout january (and pretty much ever since like november) but things really turned around for me this month which i’m grateful for. i’m totally here if you need to talk about it tho like i know we always say this when one of us feels down but i GENUINELY mean it like pls vent to me and tell me everything ily and i’ll try to cheer you up with some German ❤

    I WILL READ GIRL MADE OF STARS ONCE IT COMES OUT (when does it come out btw) YOU MAKE IT SOUND SO GOOD AND YOU C R I E D SO THAT'S EVEN MORE REASON TO READ IT AND I JUST DJFHG i was excited for it before but now i just NEED IT.

    and you get a week off school?? what the hell i wanna go to that school.

    good luck with your short story and that writing contest i'm sure you'll win because you're fabulous ❤ i hope march will be a much better month for you in terms of reading and writing and blogging (but don't pressure yourself) and mental health!

    also thanks for mentioning my post and exCUsE ME i have a right to go on a smol hiatus or do you want me to FAIL UNI. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT. HUH.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. YES YES EXACTLY. like I WANT to write or outline or plot or plan or whatever, but I have no idea what to do and my mind just won’t think of any ideas. and omg same, I do not have a creative mind to come up with good ideas for plots and that’s literally vital to a book so ,,,,

      jflsdjfldsjfsd I love you so much ❤ ❤ I'll definitely talk to you when I want/need to (tho I generally have problems with opening up about those kinda things with anyone, really), and you can do the same with me too!!! ❤ YES CHEER ME UP WITH GERMAN CAN I HEAR YOU SPEAK GERMAN AAAHHHH

      oh my god Jackie it was so good I'm still screaming about it and the bi rep was ALSO REALLY REALLY GOOD I HOPE YOU LOVE GMOS OR I PROBABLY WILL HATE YOU FOREVER (omg is this how you feel about me not liking Shatter Me)

      it's called Spring Break sweetie do you not have that in Germany

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  7. I don’t live in the US (thank God) but I hate the thought of anyone being able to have a gun. It’s awful. Totally need gun control!
    If you feel like revealing what your story is about (or at least what you’ve come up with so far) then I can probably help you figure out what your character motivation can be. 😃 (I helped one of my younger sisters with this same thing last month, actually) (Man it was awesome I was on a roll 😂)
    I haven’t seen Black Panther yet, but will eventually. My parents aren’t going to buy it because they said that although it was good, it wasn’t as good as some of the other Marvel movies? (If you thought it was that good, then, maybe you should watch some of the others! 😉 I haven’t seen all of them, but I have seen Captain America’s, Spiderman, Avengers, Guardians of the Galaxy, Thor’s – except for the new one, Ragnarok, which I REALLY WANT TO WATCH – and Ant Man. I would recommend the Captain America ones, Spiderman, Avengers, the first Guardians of the Galaxy, Thor’s, and Ant Man!) (WATCH ANT MAN. IS HILARIOUS. AND SPIDERMAN. AND CAP. TOP THREE!)

    Well that was a long comment. 😂 Your posts always get me talking in the comments for waaaaaaay too long. 😂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know! I’ve always been a supporter of gun control, but I never really thought about how easily someone could pull a gun on me, just because we don’t have stricter gun laws. :/

      Aaahh thank you!! I’ve actually luckily figured out some of my character’s motivation is (tho not specifically for the story yet haha)

      Ahaha I’m actually not that much of a Marvel/DC fan??? I just went to see Black Panther because all my friends were raving about it, and it was SO SO GOOD. I hope you get to watch it soon and love it as much as I did!! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  8. I think this month kind of killed everyone. Which is weird because February is so short. But I had a rough month as well, blogging wise, school wise, reading wise, everything wise. And from your favorite post around the blogosphere it seems like everyone is feeling a little dead too. So you aren’t alone 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Oh baby girl i’m so sorry i hope life gets better, i know everything can be stressful (yes everything) Take breaks when you need to, okay?
    OMG i know BOOKS SMELL SO GOOD.
    I was looking forward to City of Brass so I guess I know not to read it now? But I want to read Girl Made of Stars. My friend was readinging To Kill A Mockingbird for a school project and she said it was really slow, and by the time it got exciting, it was more than halfway done, so.
    Ahh, intolerant people suck. I’m really glad my LA teacher is pretty open- we were writing short stories, and like, none of the MCs in my story are cishet so.
    HA I GOT A RAINBOW HEART STICKER FOR VALENTINES DAY HAAA
    I really want to see Black Panther but I. have. no. time?
    ADAM RIPPON THOOOOOO lolol
    Oh my gosh i so agree with you one gun control, like there have been countries with one shooting and they implement gun control like what is going on america? Honestly with have an orange potato for a president. also EMMA GONZALES MY HERO! I’m so happy that it is a a HISPANIC GIRL leading #NeverAgainMSG because what else do we need in an age of change?
    haa i don’t have to do stats because i never even do monthly summaries. this is the way to succeed. don’t do anything.

    also my mental health tip: if you feel good, schedule as many posts as possible. that way, you can try taking an unnoticed hiatus without stressing out about blogging. take care of yourself okay honey?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so so much, SilverWisp!! ❤ And omg I would say to give City of Brass a chance since so many loved it, but so many people also hated it… And YES YES YES Girl Made of Stars is SO good I hope you'll be able to read it when it comes out!!!

      Omg that's amazing that your LA teacher is really tolerant! I'm pretty sure my LA teacher is too (and so are a lot of my other teachers), but you really never know who are homophobic. :/

      Yes, exactly! Like, we don't even have to take away guns completely?? We just need MUCH stricter laws on who it's sold to and how it's sold, etc. And aahh I love Emma!! I love that she's Hispanic (and also bi, I believe!).

      Liked by 1 person

      1. OMG Emma…. I have a subscription to TIME, and a few weeks ago they had an issue about the #NeverAgain movement. It was honestly so cool, she’s my idol. (And her being bi… idk it’s like the rl equivalent of rep in books i guess… i felt so happy when i heard that)

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  10. so sorry to hear that february wasn’t the best. hope march will be a good one for you though!! and yes girll take care of yourself — self-care is definitely more important than blogging. we still love you anyway! <33

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  11. I AM SO PROUD OF YOU FOR DNFING CITY OF BRASS i was scared you were just going to keep forcing yourself through it it until your brain broke

    shoutout to the disappointments that were a monster calls and darkest part of the forest

    i’m so sad n mad that you had a rough mental health month 😦 i hope march is better yay for spring break

    CAN’T WAIT FOR MBS

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  12. February was a short but fun month for me. I hope you feel better this month March and I Hope your mum is okay? Ive watched black panther and it was amazing. Seeing Africa being represented on the big screen made me love it more. It wasnt like avengers where superheroes just fight, it had action but also a lot of tradition and values in it. Wishing you the best this month may. I’ll include you in my prayers. Great post

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  13. I hope you have a wayyyy better March, May! By the way, I just wanted to say that you HAVE to read Radio Silence, I just finished it and all the way through I was thinking ‘May will LOVE this.’ Seriously, you will.

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  14. I feel you about February being a giant suckfest. And March hasn’t been too great either, but I’m trying to look on the positive side (even though I’m just exhausted about everything). 😭

    Ah, so glad you loved At the Edge Of the Universe! I only screamed about it 29292928 times after I finished it last year! I can’t believe how underrated it is??? I can’t wait to read his other books (which I still haven’t read because I’m behind on everything gah)! I absolutely loved A Monster Calls, so I can’t relate! 😂 Is it bad to say that I thought I Believe In A Thing Called Love was cheesy from the start? And so glad to see you loved Girl Made Of Stars! I read it back in December, loved it, and then never reviewed it because I’m an awful person. And I had tor rad TKAM for school as well, and, yeah, I was just bored. 😝

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    1. I feel you! I’m exhausted about everything as well, and I can’t bring myself to care or do anything. Which is Not Good.

      It is SO underrated! I think most of his books are underrated honestly, except for We Are the Ants. Omg I knew right from the start I Believe in a Thing Called Love would be cringy, but I just went on with it in case I ended up liking it… shouldn’t have tried. 😂 And YESSS Girl Made of Stars is absolutely beautiful! One of my absolute favorites, for sure. ❤

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  15. I’m sorry that February hasn’t been the greatest month for you. I hope that taking a break from blogging, taking things at your own rhythm and everything else will help and know that I am always here for you if you need or want to talk about anything ❤ I hope that March will be amazing for you, filled with great reads and better everything for you, you deserve the world and everything ❤ ❤
    I'm sorry you didn't love A Monster Calls, I feel like you're the first blogger I see saying that?? At least it's refreshing haha, I haven't read that one just yet, but when I do, I'll try and have less expectations about it all for sure 🙂
    I hope you'll have a great March ❤ Take care of yourself ❤ ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aaahh I’m a month late to replying, and March wasn’t exactly the best month in terms of my mental health, but your words mean so much to me, thank you thank you!!! ❤

      And omg I was so sad that I didn't like A Monster Calls?? And just confused, honestly. Even tho I could connect to the mom-having-cancer aspect, I guess it just didn't work out??? (I'm still confused, as you can see.)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m sorry that it didn’t work out for you and I hope you’ve read some amazing books since then. Also, hope that April is treating you well so far ❤ ❤

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  16. I’m sorry your February wasn’t great May, even if it wasn’t a really bad month it was still a bad month for you and I’m keeping my fingers crossed that March will be much much better. 🙂 You still got through a load of books, and it sucks that The City of Brass and A Monster Calls weren’t great reads for you (I loved them both but I think you possibly already know that) but I’m glad to see at least one five star rating in there so at least it wasn’t all bad in terms of reading.
    I’ll wish you good luck with your goals for March, I’m sure you’ll manage to tick them all off come your March recap, and I hope you have an amazing month in general as well. 🙂
    Great post, and happy reading! 😀 ❤

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  17. So sorry your February sucked to be honest mine wasn’t that great either (I think I got around to reading four books?) I hope your March is better!!! Congrats on getting two more physical arcs!! *cheers* Girl Made of Stars looks AMAZING I will have to read it ASAP! and congrats on reading 8 books!! Great recap and again wishing you well this March 🙂

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  18. ahh i’m sorry your february was sucky. but omg your City of Brass rant was iconic YOU GOODREADS ICON. watching the olympics this month was SO !! MUCH !! FUN ! tbh mostly i was excited about adam rippon but there was some other super cool stuff going down also. hahahhah valentines day…was schoolwork and homework but honestly i don’t think i’m missing out on much.

    affjdsjdskg YOUR SHORT STORY SOUNDS AWESOME I LOVE SAPPHIC STORIES AHHHHH ❤ (sry that you're gonna have to take that out urgh) ALSO I WANT TO READ GIRL MADE OF STARS SO BADLY I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL IT RELEASES.

    i really loved your post this month about the pressure to be perfect. ❤ it really really resonated with me, and I'M SO GLAD YOU WROTE IT UGH. hope that you feel better with your break from blogging and that march is better for you 🙂

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  19. February sucks. I hate it. Drinking water I used to be bad at. What changed? Really an anti allergy medicine made me thirsty and when I took it (which definitely was not every day and is some store brand of something but made me thirsty), started getting me in the habit of drinking water. I can feel addicted to it ha. I think anything that makes you thirsty can have the same effect and then it’s just habit or addiction. And pitcher filters are great because then the water is soooo cold from being in the fridge. You can trick your body into drinking more water is basically my point

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  20. i just went directly to goodreads and added girl made of stars to my tbr bc it seems so good????? ❤ ❤ and i just love your writing so much and you're so relatable and GAGH. & *so happy bc someone understands!* i didn't really like To Kill a Mockingbird either??????? and everyone always says its the best thing ever but besides its awesome themes obvs, I didnt' really get into the characters either BESIDES atticus. but i might be bitter bc we had to read it approximately 3 times in high school bc of curriculum weirdness and I'm so over it at this point

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  21. Sorry you had a bad period 😦 About mental health, I kinda get you, even if it’s probably we experience different things. I’m slowly starting to get that there’s something a bit off with me.

    And you READ EIGHT BOOKS! That’s great and amazing. I managed to read none because of exams. For the rest I’ve been a bit like you in real life. I had a major setback with my book research ;( I don’t think that I will partecipate to NaNo at this point.

    My February was kinda messy. But aside fomr this, since you went a little political (which for me is more than fine) I will rant here too: the Italian governement is the extreme right, which means that fascist are in power again. But of course you cannot call them that *bitter and salty af*
    I’m really disappointed by my country. Is there even a goo governement? I read about horribile things everywhere

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aahh, I definitely have been noticing something is off with me! I didn’t want to believe it but I think I definitely do have another mental illness. :/

      Thank you!! I’m sorry about exams eating away your time, but at least those are out of the way now? (this is me trying to be positive I think it’s failing) and ah yup, I’m supposed to be writing 10K for Camp NaNo but it definitely isn’t happening

      Ooh, I’m so sorry that you’re having to deal with government problems!! The American government is so crappy and has been crappy for years now, and hearing about other bad governments really makes me lose hope in a better humanity

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  22. Oh no I’m sorry that February wasn’t too kind to you 😦 It sucked for me too, so let’s throw it out of the window and hope that March is a lot better for us! ♥
    When it comes to writing, nothing worked out for me either. I wanted to start working on my WIP (I haven’t touched it since November, oops), but I was still a bit busy with writing for university, so it looks like I won’t get much done in March either 😅 I totally would love to read your short story btw 😍
    I’m soo hyped for Girl Made of Stars! I was hoping to get an Arc from Netgalley, but that didn’t happen 😦

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ah, thank you so much, Caro! I’m so sorry that February wasn’t so good to you either. ❤

      Omg I really really want to work on my WIP, but I just don't have the inspiration, or any ideas to work with! Which sucks, because right now I actually have the motivation to do things. And aahh, Girl Made of Stars is absolutely AMAZING!!! I hope you love it if you read it (tho I'm sorry you couldn't get it from Netgalley ♥)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Let’s hope that the next months are better to us! 💕

        Oh no that’s the worst when it comes to writing 😦 I do hope that you find the inspiration for your writing project! I MUST read Girl Made of Stars, I’ve heard only amazing things so far 💕

        Liked by 1 person

  23. I’m also trying to figure out when to outline my novel. I should do it this month because Camp NaNoWriMo is next month, but it might not happen because LIFE. Hopefully both of us will find the motivation to pound out those outlines!

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